Unexpected Encounters
by Aiko.In.Wonderland
Summary: Life is hard. According to Arashi Shirubachi, not-life is hard too. So is having fictional characters show up at your house, and having their voices in your head is the worst. Especially the ones that never shut up. Rated for gory details and Hidan.
1. The beginning?

**A/N: I'm back! I know, its been a while, and for all you people who read Darkened Futures, I'm sorry! I swear I'll finish this one though, I've already written quite a few chapters. Updates will still be slow so I can stay ahead, but hopefully it'll be every 2 weeks or so, maybe less sometimes, and if I'm really busy for a period of time, maybe more. To make up for slow updates, each chapter will be pretty long, around the length of this one (18 pages!). I hope you enjoy!**

 **I do not own Naruto, it is Kishimoto's toy. I'm just playing with it.**

 **Chapter 1: The beginning**

She opened her eyes, moving to her phone to turn off the alarm, softly humming along to the lyrics blaring from it. She double checked the time, 6am, perfect. After successfully stopping the music from waking everyone in her house, the very reason she woke up so early was to be alone after all, she rolled out of bed, dragging her fluffy purple blanket with her. She pulled on a black tank-top, skinny jeans, and a sweater with 'anime' embroidered on the front. After brushing out her chin length white-blonde hair, speckled with strands of lavender, silver, and baby blue, and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she walked to get her favorite cereal from the kitchen. Just like every other morning, she returned to her room, slid on her headphones, blasted J-pop and J-rock into her ears, and went about stretching before reading fanfiction on her computer. 7:50 rolled around, time to drive herself and her two younger brothers to school. She grumbled, hauling herself off her bed and away from the wonderful fanfiction she was reading.

It took her all of five minutes to gather up her two younger brothers, dragging her feet all the way. There was a reason she hated mornings, and it wasn't waking up and getting out of her wonderful, warm, welcoming, bed like she told everyone. That was part of it, yes, but mostly it was having to deal with the obnoxious pests that claimed to be related to her. She could ignore them in the afternoon, she could avoid them the entire day really, and she didn't have to worry about them at school. She did, however, have to drive them to school in the morning. She loathed that fact, and transferred her general hatred of that activity into a hatred for mid-morning hours.

"Shirubachi, why do you always listen to Japanese music?" One of her younger brothers, Ryan, asked. She sighed, he asked this question every day.

"I told you already, idiot. As to why I listen to my wonderful, beautiful, fabulous, J-rock, well it's because it is wonderful, beautiful, and fabulous." She responded, pulling out of the driveway in her car, a black BMW 3-series that her aunt had given her last year, for her 16th birthday.

"No it's not! It doesn't make any sense, you can't understand anything they're saying!" Her other brother, Aven spoke. Shirubachi had never wanted to have to deal with him, 13 years she'd had to put up with him, and he had become the bane of her existence in the first 2.

"Coolio, glad you think that. Now shut up." She sighed again, beyond happy she was graduating this year so she didn't have to deal with both of them in high school. She laughed softly to herself, you'd think at 15 and 13 the two would have grown out of their annoying ways. Daisuke, the oldest of the four, sure had. He was 21 now and in his last year of college. She noticed the car was finally quiet, and happily sung along to Guren no Yumiya blaring from the car's stereo system. One after the other, both boys disappeared from her car. She turned to head to the wonderful campus of the fancy art school she had somehow managed to get into along with her four best friends, though one was a year below her.

The day went on with the usual chatter, language then a block period of art followed by lunch, then English, math, humanities, and the day was she loved this school; she had just got back from Japan in April, the month before, from the Spring trip she went on every year. In fact, the last summer she had stayed there, finally having become fluent in the language she loved. She had already been accepted into the character design program at JAM, Japan Animation and Manga, and couldn't be happier.

Well, she could, but she knew the ways to make her happier were either illegal or impossible. So she just she couldn't be happier. After all, no one would expect someone completely happy to blow up various buildings for fun, or spend their time thinking of ways to kill someone in the most beautifully bloody way possible, or lighting objects on fire to see how long they burned. No, Shirubachi was avidly interested in all three of these activities, but she stuck to animating them, to writing them into existence and drawing out their details. She didn't want to risk ruining her bright future, so she channeled her love of explosions, gore, and fire into her plot lines and characters. Though she certainly would love to experience all of them...

The day ended with her driving to her dance class, it was thursday so there was ballet. Very few people knew of her hobbies, of which included yoga, martial arts, ballet, contemporary, playing the violin, snowboarding, meditation, aerial silks, and sewing. Most of which seemed to contradict the sarcastic mood swings and terror-tactics that made up her personality. Shirubachi liked to believe she was polite enough, and generally cheery and sweet, though she would not deny the more negative aspects of her personality. Those people that did know of her hobbies, however didn't see how it affected her. Grace, power, and a connection to her favorite anime characters, strength that only came with training, they were her motivation. She went home, read fanfiction, watched anime, went to sleep around 10 or so after pressing her forehead to the screen and whispering a thank you and goodnight to the picture of Hidan there, and repeated the process again the next day. She did the same the next week, and the next, and soon May bled into June, just as the months and years before it had.

June first came around like any other day, starting with a groggy Shirubachi dragging her feet out the door and into the car. After dropping off Ryan at the neighboring public high school, she turned to hop back onto the freeway, gliding into her routine of heading through the forest filled back roads, when it happened.

A car crashed into hers, pushing it off the hill and rolling it into the rocky ravine below, crushing her body completely. The only noise was the creaking of bent metal, and an echoing boom as the car that had destroyed hers exploded. Shrapnel pierced her lungs, and they began filling with blood, starting the process of drowning her in the stuff that was supposed to keep her alive. She felt bones snap under the weight of the metal collapsing onto her small body, a bloodcurdling scream leaving her throat. Burns spread wherever the red-hot metal made contact with her skin, wrenching more cries from her as she fought to escape from the death trap that she was caught in. The hiss of the embers and groans of metal covered her screams of 'Jashin fucking damn it' and evaporated her tears as she exhaled her final breath, her heart losing its use in moments.

The next time she opened her eyes there was sterile white covering the walls, and a long beep of the heart monitor flat lining. The doctor walked in, took note of the monitor and sighed, thinking of ways to tell her family. Shirubachi heard as the doctor click an intercom, hearing the words 'patient 539, Arashi Shirubachi, deceased'. She watched as he scribbled some things down on his clipboard, turning to leave. She heard the click of the door opening, and knew she needed to do something. The doctor jumped when he heard the girl clear her throat.

"Can I get off these IVs and shit now? They're annoying as fuck. Also I want food." The girl that was supposed to be dead, who didn't have a pulse asked. She laid there, glaring at him, even as the heart monitor continued to show a lack of a beat. Shirubachi was pale, dead, and starving.

"How are you speaking? You shouldn't be alive!" He yelled at her, surprise in his eyes at the females bored tone.

"No shit. I thought when the line went flat it meant I was all healthy." Shirubachi told him, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "Now, I want food. I also want to go home. So, are you just gonna stand there staring at me or…?" Shirubachi was honestly curious how she was alive(ish) herself, she held a hand in front of her nose and found she was breathing, but could hold her breath for an indefinite amount of time. Most likely eternity if she wished it. Her heart had indeed stopped, but she seemed to be working just fine. She tried to actually make it work, and low and behold, it worked, the heart monitor started showing its activity again. She stopped it, and the monitor flat lined. She snickered to herself, that would be a useful trick. In order to stop scaring people she willed it to start again, and made her breathing even and natural.

"H-how? What are you?! D-de-demon!" The man stuttered out, bolting from her room. Shirubachi sighed, letting her thoughts take over.

 _I wonder how long I've been out?_ She thought to herself, deciding to ask someone eventually. She doubted the doctor would be returning.

 _How the fucking hell do you think I'd fucking know?_ Came the response, it sounded masculine, but she was still a bit delirious. She let herself relax into the uncomfortable hospital bed.

 _Huh, I'll have to ask someone else._ She responded in her head. _WAIT WHAT THE FUCK WHO IS THAT?_ Shirubachi had just realized that there was a voice responding to her questions in her head in a different voice. There was someone in her fucking head, her place! There was some creepy shit that went on there, she didn't need someone looking in on her more than slightly disturbing thoughts. There was a reason she only said 1-2% of them! _DON'T LOOK THROUGH MY THOUGHTS YOU JASHIN DAMNED FREAK!_

 _Why am I in YOUR fucking head? I should be fucking asking why YOU'RE in MY head bitch!_ The voice waited a couple moments then. _Did you fucking say Jashin? So you're a Jashinist? Did He tell you what this damn voice thing was?_ Shirubachi's thoughts darted about, she knew that speech pattern. She knew of only one other Jashinist who stuffed as many curses into each sentence as possible. It had to be Hidan. It HAD to be! So if that were the case… fangirling time.

 _OH MY FUCKING JASHIN YOU'RE HIDAN! HIDAN! I AM SO HONORED TO SPEAK TO YOU! Welcome to my brain, I think you will like many of my thoughts, er... maybe, but still, HIDAN! We have to do a sacrifice sometime, I've never seen anyone more epic than you in my life! I am fangirling so bad right now, sorry, you're just fucking EPIC! Jashin is really treating me well today, first immortality, I think so at least, now you, Hidan-sama the most epic person in the history of ever! I am so sorry I was so disrespectful! Ugh what am I doing? I am usually not this bad._ If Hidan had actually been there, standing in front of her he would have been bowed to repeatedly then glomped him. Then probably hid in the ground because NO, SHE WAS NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL.

 _I am damn fucking epic. Good to see you acknowledge that bitch. But you better stop with the whole 'fangirling' shit, its annoying as fucking hell and I don't want a damn fucking fangirl in my head, even if you are a Jashinist. Also you are one sick fucker,_ She had allowed some of her more gory ideas surface after mention of doing a sacrifice, mostly to showcase she could pull her weight (hopefully) and be a little more convincing, _I like the way you think. Sometimes. The gory shit. Your thoughts are damn fucked up. I have no fucking clue how you seem able to identify me so damn easily though._ Shirubachi sighed here, she had already decided she was either in some sort of coma induced dream or Jashin had given her a wondrous opportunity to prove herself. She really hoped it was the second.

 _Well this is quite a long story if you want to know that. Can you look through my memories or something? You have a mental block up, I can't sense much more than the thoughts you're projecting at me. Oh, tell Deidara I say hi! The little brats fucking adorable. If he's there yet I mean though._ Shirubachi grinned happily, sitting up on her hospital bed, resting her back against the icy wall.

 _Memories… memories… yeah I can fucking look through your memories bitch. Just draw up the ones you want me to fucking SEE. And hell no I'm not fucking talking to the blonde bitch. After this I gotta go sacrifice some heathens, so try not to think too loudly._ Shirubachi hummed happily, drawing up some memories of watching the Naruto episodes which contained Hidan or the Akatsuki. After that, she started humming softly to herself, yanking out the various IVs and needles, not like she could die or anything. First it was just a ' _Okay, I got 'em bitch'_ in her head, then various ' _what the fuck's,_ before there was a loud ' _FUCK I GET KILLED BY A PINEAPPLE?'_ , she assumed Hidan had reached his death at that point. Actually, more than assumed.

 _Well… what the fuck? How do you know all this shit?! Why am I in some weird drawing form?_ Shirubachi giggled here, she had just pulled out the last of the annoying needles, and was now picking up her clothes, removing the hospital gown.

 _Its called anime, Hidan. Here, thats all you and the rest of your world is. A story, and a show on tv. Entertainment. I picked up Jashinism from you actually, but I follow it seriously even if I can't do sacrifices. Honestly I should be dead right now, so I think I've done something to please Jashin-sama, I don't know what though._ Several beats of silence, she changed back into her own clothes, now ripped jeans and a black top with sleeves that fell off her shoulders. She turned towards the door, beginning to head out the door.

 _Well I think we should knock some sense into those fuckers. I am NOT entertainment for some sick fucking heathens. I don't want to just fucking be some character in a fucking story, especially not a fucking DEAD CHARACTER! I definitely don't want to get killed by some lazy-ass pineapple either. Here's a deal, if I help you out in your life, you'll help me in mine. Like a partnership of sorts. Got it? Cause its a damn fuckin great deal. Seeing as you know me, who the fuck are you?_ Shirubachi smiled, heading out the door. Her favorite anime character wanted her help! He wanted to be her partner!

 _My names Arashi Shirubachi, yeah its more than a little weird, 'Silver Blood' isn't exactly a common name. And I quite like that deal. What kind of person would I be to turn down a deal from my favorite character, and I guess my favorite… person? That sounds creepy._ Various stalker-y images rushed through her head here, as she walked down the halls of the hospital towards reception

 _Arashi Shirubachi? Thats a fucking mouthful. Er, thoughtful? Damn fucking confusion. I'll just call you Chi. Blood's a decent nickname, lucky bitch. Now, I have a sacrifice to get to. So quiet, or I'll ruin your mind forever._ Shirubachi was quiet then, she rather liked that nickname. Most of her friends called her Arashi-chan, Shiru, or Stormy. Chi, that was new. Most would avoid calling her blood, but she thinked it suited her nicely. Yeah, she liked it a lot. She quickly hid away her thoughts, focusing on her breathing, and her steps. Letting her mind stay blank was rather difficult. Until it started.

"Hi there, I'm Arashi Shirubachi from room 537, checking out. I know it's a little early but I feel fine, no pain or anything." Before she could get a response, she turned and left, leaving a disturbed receptionist mumbling 'she's dead though, she's been dead for a long time', but Shirubachi didn't hear it. She got to the parking lot, then let out a moan. Hidan's thoughts, his pleasure, had been rushing through her head since he started his sacrifice. She knew now why he was so eager for each one, and it had little to do with their god. Oh fuck she needed to start doing more of these. She REALLY needed to do more of these.

 _Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck_ , was the only thought she could process. She wasn't sure if it was hers or his, but Shirubachi hoped it didn't bother him to much. Damn it felt good! Hidan did his own work, turning the pain from the wounds to pleasure. She'd seen him to it in the anime but she had no idea it was this great, even if the places the wounds were did sting a little! She walked right to the other side of the road, turned and started walking the 20 miles from the hospital to her house. Shirubachi took her wallet out of her back pocket, stopped at a grocery store and bought a sugary protein bar and a sweet tea. Ah how she loved sweets. She barely managed to keep a straight face, blaming the flush on the running instead of the sensations traveling her thoughts.

She took back to her running, rushing through the forest at an easy pace. She pushed her speed as high as it would go, a nagging pain in her lungs and feet begging her to slow, but she decided she needed to get up her stamina anyway and kept going. She tried accepting the pain, saying it was for Jashin's sake, that her god wouldn't want unfit subject, that though it was minor pain it proved her connection to everyone else, and it worked. Oh it worked well. Soon she started to add her own pleasure to the mix, making a quick cut on her shoulder, drawing Jashin's symbol there, waiting for it to dry, then pushing herself even harder. She decided to get it tattooed there on her 18th birthday in a couple months. Eventually Hidan's pleasure faded, and she assumed he was passed out. Her own stopped as well, she assumed an actual ritual needed to be happening for it to be considered a functioning link to Jashin. She made it home after a long while, deciding to go the long way and make the 10 miles 20.

"Hey mom." She called to the house, not getting a reply. Shirubachi assumed her mom was out grocery shopping or something, so she went to the kitchen, making some pasta, before returning to her room and taking a shower, singing various songs loudly. She was told she had a pretty voice, and though it may seem a bit vain, she agreed. Eventually she heard some minor thoughts on Hidan's end of the line. She wished she could send him food or something, he kept complaining about being hungry. Shirubachi doubted he'd ever had chicken alfredo. She laughed quietly at the thought.

 _Hey Hidan, you ever heard of chicken alfredo?_ She had to ask now.

 _Chicken what? Chi what the fuck are you going on about?_ He seemed confused. She laughed a lot harder now.

 _Oh, nothing._ She got out of the shower, and curled up on her bed. This time it wasn't a screen she spoke to. _Night Hidan!_

 _Don't project your fuckin' dreams at me! From some of your less conscious thoughts I've noticed you have quite the fucked up imagination, and unless it involves the bloody carcasses of heathens I want no part in it!_ She giggled quietly here.

 _Don't worry about it, I won't disturb you with my weird dreams. Though I'll admit yours are quite odd. Good night Hidan._ Shirubachi sighed happily, letting her eyes slip closed.

 _Just don't fucking bother me with your damn dreams._ At this, she slipped into a sleep, filled with happy dreams full of bloody sacrifices and happy Jashinists.

Shirubachi yawned and stretched, popping her joints as she rolled out of bed. She turned down her phone, letting the music keep playing. She pulled on her usual black off the shoulder top, the lacy blue collared sweater with the kimono-like sleeves, her favorite ripped white skinny jeans and heeled black boots. She pulled a brush through her hair, arranging it in its deep side part, and pushing a blue headband behind her bangs.

She walked into the kitchen, made herself an omelet, and sang quietly to herself, heading back to her room to eat. "All you sinners stand up sing hallelujah, show praise with your body sing hallelujah, and if you can't stop shakin lean back let it move right through ya~ say your prayers, say your prayers, say your prayers~!" She sang, prancing around her room like an idiot, but she did really like the song. She was going over it in her head, dancing along the steps happily. Ah how she loved Panic!At the disco.

 _Can you shut the fuck up already? SOME PEOPLE SLEEP PAST 7AM!_ Hidan thought-shouted. She continued dancing and started grinning. Shirubachi had actually forgotten about her thought connection and Hidan's voice streaming in made her even happier.

 _Ah, gomen Hidan! Just going through my morning workout~_ She hummed happily, continuing to dance and sing the lyrics. She'd probably wake up everyone in her house, but she was in a really good mood.

 _How can you be in such a fuckin good mood in the morning?_ Shirubachi thought for a minute, she was usually annoyed and grumpy in the mornings. At this thought Hidan put in a _Like normal people…_ , but today she was just happy and she couldn't really explain why. The song ended, and as her playlist rolled on, she continued singing along, though much quieter and her dancing had stopped. The realisation of how unusual this was wouldn't seem all that unusual to most, but she usually HATED mornings. She just dragged herself through her routine, and waited for noon or so to get out of her slump. She was mildly disturbed, and became more so when she realised she was still grinning and had the urge to hug kittens or something.

Shirubachi skipped out of her room, deciding to accept the happiness for what it was. Then she remembered; her family had probably been told she was dead. Meaning she would probably scare the shit out of them. Also meaning her life was gonna be weird today. She hoped her school hadn't been told. She decided to run there today, she doubted her car was in good shape. She took off, enjoying the crisp air, running full speed through the mist and forest. It took her all of 50 minutes to run ten miles, she actually ended up early, at 8:13. She walked in casually, as if she hadn't died the day before.

"Hey there Momo-chan!" Shirubachi said, waving to her friend. Momo was a Junior, and had shoulder length red hair that faded to black at the bottom, and she wore glasses over her sparkling green eyes. She was about the same height as Shirubachi, if not a little taller, and was currently wearing a Fall Out Boy shirt (as usual) and black skinny jeans with a pair of black combat boots. She was deathly pale, but it never bothered her because "she'd look weird tan" and it was true, once they'd played around with saturation on a photo and made the girl tan, and it was horrifying.

"Hey Arashi-chan!" Momo said, bouncing over and hugging her. "Wait, where have you been the past week?! I thought you DIED!" Momo was more than a bit overdramatic, but this time she was right. Then, Shirubachi stopped. A week? She'd been out for a week? She thought it had only been a day. Does that mean they only checked on her after a week? Which day had she died? As these thoughts flit through her head, Momo continued to stare up at her from their hug.

In hopes of not annoying Hidan, Shirubachi calmed her thoughts. "Wow I was out a week? Don't worry, I just got in a little car crash. It really wasn't anything, it looked worse than it was so they had me all drugged up. Like I could die from something like that!" Shirubachi exclaimed, slipping some truths in so it was believable. She had a plan for later, if they announced she was dead, but for now that's what the story would be.

"Oh my god, a car crash!" Momo exclaimed. Shirubachi winced, forcing herself from correcting her friend. _It's okay, she doesn't know better. She doesn't know better. She doesn't know better._ Shirubachi repeated to herself. However, she now felt the need to inform her friend.

"Hey Momo? Jashin. Its Jashin. Please refrain from saying otherwise, at least while in my presence." Shirubachi then let a false joking tone into her voice, "You don't want me to call you a heathen right?" While she was being completely serious, she couldn't let Momo know that.

"You and your weird Jashinist ways. Don't worry about it, I'm not particularly religious, but I'll stand by you on this one. I'll say Jashin if it makes you feel more comfortable." Shirubachi's various winces and cringes throughout her friends speech faded to a grateful nod at the end. Momo could be a little overdramatic but she was still a great friend, one Shirubachi wouldn't trade for the world.

"Thanks Momo-chan." The bell rang, and Shirubachi took her place at her desk.

 _The heathen! How dare that bitch degrade Jashin-sama! Why didn't you fucking sacrifice her?!_ She smiled slightly, there was a slight chance she might trade Momo for Hidan. Maybe. Okay she totally would but Momo was still great.

 _Momo is my friend, she is just clueless in the matters if Jashin. Most people in this world are. In fact, I'm one of very very few serious Jashinists. I try to educate her on the ways of Jashin, she is learning. Momo just slips up sometimes._ She could imagine Hidan with a shocked 'Hidan face' as she had dubbed them. She ignored his grunt in response to her mental imagery.

 _Peach-bitch still fucking dared to degrade Jashin-sama! As long as the bitch remains a heathen, I will continue to fucking believe she should be sacrificed._ Shirubachi suddenly giggled, and everyone in her math class turned to look at her. She blushed slightly, then quickly finished the worksheet before replying to Hidan.

 _Well then I guess we'll just have to show her the power of Jashin-sama won't we?_ She chuckled again, and once again got weird looks from her class. Shirubachi could already hear the beginnings of a new rumor forming, 'Young otaku going insane and laughing at nothing'.

 _Let them fucking think you're crazy. It makes it damn fun when your RIGHT and they end up fucked._ Was Hidan's wonderfully inspiring answer. She bit her lip, she really wished it were that easy.

 _Very inspirational Hidan. Hey, don't the Akatsuki rings allow for telepathy? I wonder if you connected to a signal, I could communicate with more people?_ Shirubachi smirked here, she was a genius! She could save kawaii little Dei-chan and Hidan! She only wished she were there in person.

 _Huh, maybe. I can fuckin check it out someday, it'll scare the shit out of them,_ Shirubachi grinned at that. Perfect.

"Okay, you're all excused." Came the voice of her teacher. She glanced over her paper, walking forward to turn it in. "That reminds me, today after second period, when you get to the second campus, go to the gym instead of lunch. There's an announcement." Shirubachi's grin grew even wider, they _would_ be announcing her death, then! She could forever terrify them all! Mental images of the hundreds of students at her school bowing before her in terror as she announced her existence swept through her mind. If a week had passed, then tomorrow was the last day of the school year.

Next came Art! She hummed happily, pulling her newest sketchbook out of her back, which was stuffed with the things, from 8th grade onwards. She carefully removed a clear box full of her copic pens, then a metallic gold and silver marker. She quickly sketched a landscape, then she added in herself and Hidan grinning. She finished up the lineart right as the class ended. She brought it up in her mind as she walked to the bus, essentially showing it to Hidan.

 _You're actually pretty fucking decent Chi. That looks a helluva lot like the me in your memories, from that shitty-ass show._ Shirubachi laughed quietly, slipping on her headphones as she rode the bus to her next campus.

 _You think? I have no idea how you would look outside the show though, plus I like to draw anime more than realism. The other person in it was me. I'm glad you like it!_ She was grinning now, it was really great being able to talk to someone like Hidan. How often does one acquire the chance to talk to their favorite character! He wasn't even complaining non-stop! Shirubachi doubted she would care at first, though she would probably snap eventually. She really hoped he didn't start with all the whiny shit soon.

 _Oi! I heard fucking heard that!_ She snorted then, no shit.

 _Hidan you hear all my thoughts._

 _Hmph. Fuck you._

 _I'm sure you would._

 _Fuck, I dunno. Maybe. Depends how hot you are._

Hey! I'll have you know that I'm one sexy bitch.

 _I know you're a bitch but I'm not so sure about the sexy part. At least your not a fucking heathen._

 _Damn right I'm not._

The bus had pulled into the next campus, and she gathered up her bags and got out, heading to the gym. She hummed slightly as she skipped through the halls. This was gonna be great~!

 _I'm gonna scare the shit out of everyone!_ She exclaimed in her head, doing a little twirl before going through the door, picking a place high up in the back of the bleachers, in a corner, where the curtain partially covered her. After all the other students finished filling in, the principal walked in, clearing her throat

.

"Today, I'm afraid we have some sad news. One of our students, Arashi Shirubachi, has died in a car crash." Shirubachi was trying her hardest not to laugh, she had her knuckles stuffed in her mouth as a lot of people sighed sadly, or gave a confused 'huh?'. She saw one of her best friends, Astelle tear up.

"She will be missed. We are going to display some of her work in the hall as tribute, and I hope Shirubachi is happy, wherever she is now." Here she couldn't help it anymore. She let out a laugh.

"This is damn hilarious! I sure am happy!" Shirubachi said, strolling through the bleachers. She had originally planned to let this go on longer but she couldn't help it.

 _Oh my Jashin, Hidan you have no idea how great this is. They all totally thought I was completely dead! Their faces! Their FACES! It's fucking hilarious._

 _No I fucking know exactly what it's damn like. Happens to me all the fucking time. It's still funny as all fucking hell._

Several shocked looks later and she was standing in the center of the room, bowing overdramatically.

"Thank you, thank you. Now, I am most certainly not dead. Well kind of. Mostly. We graduate tomorrow, and I sure as hell wouldn't die before at least graduating high school. There must have been a mistake somewhere. I got home last night." She hid a grin with a hand, pretending to sneeze. "Can we get on with our day now?" The teachers faces were priceless.

 _They must all be damn fucking terrified or at least hella confused right about now, eh Chi?_

 _Un, its beautiful. The principle needs to pick her jaw up off the floor though, it's kinda unnatural and weird._ Shirubachi smiled, flitting back to her seat.

"Ah, er, yes. Go to lunch now?" The principal spoke, dismissing them. Though it sounded more like a question than anything else.

Shirubachi hummed happily, skipping off to her seat with her friends. She grabbed a plate of spaghetti on the way, paying the necessary $5.

"SOOO… Shiru, I think you need to explain more about this 'little' car crash you had." Momo said. Shirubachi groaned and would have put her head on the table had she not placed her food there.

"No." Was the confetti-haired girl's simple reply.

"I think we all agree with Momo. Pwease Shiruuu-chan?" Now it was Salix, batting her eyes and succeeding heavily in looking adorable. With her big blue eyes, curly-ish honey blonde hair and soft features, Salix was very good at pulling off the 'innocently cute' look, though in actuality she was anything but. Kuriako and Astelle just nodded along, likely just not feeling up to arguing.

"Uuuuuuugh FINE. I was driving to school on that forested back road I like and another car crashed into mine and threw me off the road, into that trench on the side. Their car exploded and I probably should be dead but I'm not so it's cool. I really did get released from the hospital yesterday night. Happy now?"

"Le gasp! How dare you not call us?" Momo said, glomping my head. Shirubachi pushed her plate aside and slammed her head into the table foreals this time, effectively dislodging the parasitic girl from herself. She just curled her arms in front of it and groaned some more before eventually resuming eating.

"Just so you know we're coming to your house the night after graduation. You better have some icecream and some waffles or something." It was Kuriako this time, she was actually albino but kept her waist length hair dyed a pretty blue-black which really made her red eyes and pigmentless white skin seem really pretty in a kind of creepy, exotic way.

"Waffles are good, I'll definitely have some of those. Don't worry bout that. Bring your own ice cream though, the boys will eat it if I have it in my freezer." The bell rang then, and Shirubachi waved before heading off to her next class. English.

 _Why the fuck are you humming the tune to some weird 'Miss Jackson' song?_ Hidan thought.

 _I like the song, I'm happy, I'm therefore humming the song. Bite me._

 _Sorry Chi, 'fraid I can't do that kinda thing through thoughts. Didn't know you fucking were into it either, damn bitch. That reminds me, never EVER say that to Kisame. He will actually fucking bite you, and it hurts like a bitch._

 _Note taken, I would rather not have those teeth in my skin. That sounds extraordinarily painful. Does this mean you're willing to test the Akatsuki rings with our telepathy? We could try it without telling them and scare the shit out of Pein. That would be fuckin hilarious._

 _That's actually a damn great idea. Maybe tomorrow, I'm heading back from a mission with the miser-bitch. I'm fuckin tired._

' _Kay, that'll be fun. I'll try and get through my day without hurting your brain too much, a lot of this shit requires too much mindless thought. Reasons I have chronic migraines, yay._

 _It's really fucking nice having someone who isn't a fucking money obsessed heathen to talk to, I like the fucked up way you think. Did you know you dream about breaking each finger and toe of random heathens before skinning them individually and chopping them off in a bloody spray, before doing the same with their arms and legs, then carving the symbol of Jashin-sama into their foreheads and breaking each of their ribs and ripping out their hearts? I actually plan on using this, so thanks Chi._

 _Anytime Hidan. I'm honestly not surprised, I once spent a whole day thinking up different gory ways to murder my math teacher for assigning us 10 pages of useless nonsense._

 _I'm sure it was fucking beautiful, and for the shitty nonsense running through my head earlier, I'm sure the bastard deserved each and every death you thought up._

 _Very much true._

 _Ha, I'm damn right, as fuckin usual._

 _Okay Hidan._

Shirubachi spent her day going from class to class, as usual, but now had the easy distraction, and actually often the help, of the silver haired Akatsuki immortal. She was unaware she was starting to gain a reputation of being crazy, and honestly even if she did know she wouldn't have cared. She'd still have Momo, Salix, Astelle, Kuriako, and now Hidan. She realised that she had actually stopped being fangirly, which really boosted her mood. Honestly she hated people like that most of the time, so to think of herself that way…. she shuddered in disgust. However, knowing that she was acting semi-normal around her favorite character EVER made her smile, finishing her walk home. It was so peaceful, with her headphones on and surrounded by forest, yet always having someone to talk to. She supposed it would be awkward if they got in a fight of some sort, but since he could see all her thoughts she figured she couldn't hide anything from him or lie, so if she did end up getting in a fight with Hidan it would probably be resolved pretty quickly. She smiled at this, walking calmly into her home for the past 4 and a half years.

"Hey mom, I'm home~" Shirubachi called out, waiting. 5, 4,3, 2, 1-

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" Ah, exactly as planned.

"Er, yeah. They let me out a little early, I guess the hospital equipment was faulty or something." Shirubachi smiled. She really hated lying to her mom, but it came naturally. She wasn't exactly a perfect girl, so ever since her dad had died when she was little she had become too independent for her age, and had taken the responsibility of making sure her mom had a little easier of a time. Shirubachi definitely didn't want her mom to know her thoughts.

"I was so worried about you, the hospital called and said you disappeared, all you did was leave a note!" Shirubachi smiled and hugged the frantic woman.

"I'm fine, I got a ride from Astelle." She said, knowing her most level-headed friend would figure it out and cover for her. "I just had to get to school on time. Don't stress too much, I wouldn't die from a couple scratches. I've never broken a bone and I don't plan on changing that record."

 _You've never broken a damn bone? How fucking old are you again?_

 _Actually I don't think I've told you that yet have I? I'm 17. What about you?_

 _So I'm stuck in the fucking head of a teenage girl. Fan-fucking-tastic._

 _Hey! I'm not that bad. Really though, you're like 22 right?_

 _Fucking hell, THAT WAS NOT MENTIONED IN YOUR FUCKING MEMORIES BITCH HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT!?_

 _Ah, Narutopedia. Also, 22 yet you continue to paint your nails dark green. You're actually only 5 years older than me, so don't give me any bullshit about that._

 _Oi, my nails are naturally fuckin like that! And the fact I'm only 5 years older than you is kinda fuckin sad, it means you're that fuckin weak compared to me at that age._

 _How do you know how fucking strong or weak I am? I've never fucking mentioned it!_

 _I can tell. You can't even break the very, very simple barrier around my mind, meaning you have little to no chakra control. Plus, judging from what I've heard of your fucked up world, not much emphasis is put on fucking training._

 _Heh heh… Yeah I'm pretty weak compared to you ninja._

 _Seeing as a Jashinist with no training is fucking useless, I've decided to train you. I can't deal with being in a fuckin weak ass civilians head._

 _OH HELL YEAH! I get training? YEEEEEEES! This will be epic!_

"Shirubachi? You look kinda zoned out." Her mom cut into her wonderful thought conversation.

"Oh, sorry about that. Just a lot on my mind with graduation tomorrow."

"It's okay, you should take a shower, eat dinner, and get some sleep. I'm sure this has all been exhausting."

"Yeah, thanks Mom, I'll do that." Shirubachi strolled back into her room, grabbed her fluffy flannel pajama pants and a tank top, and got into the shower. She took her time, rubbing in her lavender-vanilla soaps and shampoo for extra long to get the weird hospital smell off of her. She skipped out to the kitchen after pulling on a plain pair of black flats and a sweatshirt, and made herself some pizza. She turned back to her room, huddling into her bed wrapping herself in blankets before eating the wonderful food.

 _So, when does my training start?_

 _Later, I'm fuckin tired right now._

 _Okay~ night Hidan!_

 _Night Chi._

The next morning happened much the same as every other morning. Shirubachi rolled out of bed, turned down her phone, got ready for school, etc. She did her stretching, she made her breakfast, she went over the homework from the night before in her head.

 _Mornin' Hidan_ She thought-whispered, whistling softly.

 _Why the hell do you wake up at fucking DAWN?_ Hidan replied. Shirubachi picked up her whistling a bit, turning to the door. She slipped on a light jacket, and took off down the road.

 _I see you're picking up on some of my habits as your awake as well._

 _Kakuzu woke me up at 5am. We just got back to the shitty ass base._

 _Ah._ Shirubachi smiled, enjoying the wind whipping through her hair. _Ne, Hidan? Do you think I could use chakra if I tried?_

 _I dunno, maybe. Y'know the fucking things they teach in the Jashin-damned academy right? Just try focusing on combining the energy within you._

 _Huh, okay._ She spent the rest of her run focusing, trying to pinpoint her chakra flow. It was little, but it was there. As she tested it, she realised she had pretty mediocre reserves, not really bad, but not good either. She wondered if she could try Hidan's scythe style, she'd always thought it was pretty badass.

 _Glad to know, I could probably teach you how to wield a scythe, as long as you fuckin' pay attention, you don't seem to have too much trouble doing that though._

 _No I suppose not. It would be pretty badass to have scythe skills._ Shirubachi hummed, running through random hand signs for nothing in particular. She'd memorised them a while back due to ninjas being badass as fuck. She arrived at her campus, stepping in. Her day passed quickly, with her quietly practicing with her chakra under her various desks and tables. She could do almost nothing, it was fuckin difficult! It was like trying to push together magnets on the wrong edge, then move them about in a very specific way with her non-dominant hand.

 _Hey Hidan? I think I have an idea._

 _Let's fuckin hear it then._

 _Well I was thinking, get Sasori, Deidara, Pein, and Kisame on the line, maybe Konan too. Then wait til Sasori and Deidara start arguing about art, and I can tell them they're both wrong, get everyone's attention, and scare the shit out of all of them. I think it would be fun._

 _That sounds pretty damn decent, Chi. I'll get to it as soon as you get home from whatever that hell-hole your at is. Though why just Sasori, Deidara, Pein and Kisame?_ Hidan totally threw off the idea of Konan, that was pretty unlikely.

 _Yay! I only have like an hour left, then the graduation ceremony thing tomorrow night, and I'm forever done with this place. Oh, because firstly, Deidara is my second favorite character, and Kisame is my third. Pein is necessary cuz he's fucking "Leader-sama". Sasori is integral to my plan, I kinda totally ship him with Deidara so I guess he's an okay character, not really one of my favorites but he has his moments. I don't really dislike him but I don't love him either._

 _Well that makes perfect sense._ Note the sarcasm here in that phrase. _Oh also, if you EVER fuckin mention how friendly I am to you, I will skin you alive. And that shit hurts, I know._ This part was not sarcastic at all though, and Shirubachi shuddered slightly at the threat and the mental image that came with it.

 _Got it Hida-kun._

 _What the fuck kind of nickname is Hida-kun?_

 _A good kind of nickname._

 _Don't fuckin call me Hida-kun, it only shortens my name by one fucking letter._

 _Alright, I'll call you Hida-chan._

 _THAT'S WORSE CHI!_

Hida-kun it is then.

 _Jashin damn you._

 _He won't, I'm a loyal follower as well. Don't treat me like a heathen, Hida-kun!_

 _Fine. Fucking fine. Just keep practicing your chakra control, eventually I'll teach you how to put up a better mental barrier, anyone could break into your head like this, therefore leading to my mind._

 _Mm-kay. I'll get to it now, I've only got the rest of this class then I can go._ Shirubachi smiled, finishing up her sketch. It was one she had started a while ago, her favorite oc Aiko standing with a peace sign, Hidan's arm wrapped around her shoulder, Deidara on her other side with his arm looping through hers. All three were in Akatsuki cloaks, and she realised she really needed to buy one of those now. Shirubachi wondered if Pein would let her officially join the organisation as an information gatherer of sorts. She liked a lot of the Jinchuriki though, maybe she could help shift the plot line about, inform them of Tobi's plan. She really hated the damn lollipop, he drove her crazy with his obnoxious antics and his incessant planning of the destruction of her favorite characters.

Eventually her day ended, bringing her home. She smiled, going into her room and pulling out an old hakama, midnight blue on the bottom and black on the top. She grabbed a pair of hiking boots and some bamboo and headed into the forest covering half her house. She began humming softly to herself, calmly striding to a familiar clearing next to a small, clear stream. She focused on a point somewhere in the distance, letting her vision fade, she let her humming over take all other noises, she let her heart stop, her breathing coming to a halt. These simple motions felt familiar and well practiced, though she had never tried this.

Shirubachi clasped her hands in front of her stomach, curling her fingers around themselves. She pictured her chakra coils, something she knew she wasn't supposed to have, something that wasn't supposed to exist in her world. Really, she shouldn't exist in her world. She didn't match, didn't belong. Yet, here she was: a freak of nature, a corpse, a shell, alive all the same. It didn't make sense, but it was, so she hadn't questioned it. Her thoughts were no longer a private place after all.

Slowly, she tried pushing the chakra out of its home, bringing it carefully to focus on her feet. Shirubachi doubted Hidan felt like teaching her basic chakra control after all, so she would do it herself, with this new chakra of hers. She turned to a tree, blasting a huge amount of chakra to her feet, sending her soaring into its branches. She understood the basics of chakra control, she had been practicing all day and had picked up on it fairly quickly, though it was pretty difficult. Shirubachi heavily lowered the flow to her feet, leaving just enough to make herself stick, and calmly walked down the trunk. Well that was her intention, she actually turned, walked a few steps, and fell down the rest of the tree to land on her face. She sighed, turning back to the tree, and tried walking up it. She got maybe half way, then fell again, landing square on her ass. She continued this for a while longer, and in maybe an hour she could easily walk up and down the tree.

 _Yo Hida-kun, you almost ready?_

 _Hell yeah, give me about 5 minutes._

' _Kay. I think I got tree-walking down pretty decently. I'll start water now if you think I should._

 _Damn right, I fucking knew you had potential._

 _I'll get to it then_

Now she walked to the stream, carefully placing a foot on it. The water rippled and pulsed, and her foot went right through. She cursed lightly, removing her shoes and folding up the bottom of her hakama. She really questioned her decision to wear it, but it had just seemed kind of right at the time. She tried again, gently pushing her chakra out of her foot at a constant rate. It balanced lightly on top of the water, so she tried putting more of her weight on it. The foot went splashing back into the shallow creek. She did this again, until she could rest the majority of her weight on the foot. She transferred all of her weight over, and placed down her other foot. It hovered precariously, but she did not fall in.

Shirubachi pumped her fist in the air happily, momentarily distracted she fell in. Luckily the stream was only about knee-depth, but it still soaked a good portion of her hakama and splashed her face. She grumbled a bit, but lifted a foot out of the water and balanced it back on top, then doing the same with the other. Sadly, her fall had heavily disrupted the surface of the water, leaving small waves. She fell back into the water in mere seconds, hence making the ripples even worse. Before she could try again, she heard a voice in her head that definitely wasn't Hidans.

 _Hidan, what do you want._ The voice seemed like it lacked emotion, but commanded an air of authority. She couldn't tell if it were Pein or Sasori yet. She also wasn't sure how Hidan would answer the question, he couldn't exactly say he wanted to introduce her. Luckily he didn't have to answer.

 _Why did you specifically ask for the four of us?_ That was gruff and deep, clearly Kisame. Great, another question that Hidan wouldn't be able to answer currently.

 _I have art to get back to, un!_ Shirubachi sighed in relief, this should probably stop the questions for a bit. This voice was obviously Deidara.

 _Brat, those damn explosions aren't art. Art is eternal._ This voice held the same emotionless properties of the first, but it was distinctly different in some ways. That must mean this one is Sasori, the first must have been Pein then. Er, Nagato. Same thing.

 _No it's not, art is something that is there one moment and gone the next, yeah! Art is an explosion, un!_

 _True art should last forever, brat._ Shirubachi smirked, pulling her legs out of the water and standing on top. She carefully coordinated her chakra flow to match the water below her, swaying a bit but otherwise showing no signs of falling in again.

 _You're both wrong. True art is neither fleeting nor eternal, true art is alive. It is drawn in flowing stories, tales illustrated to create lives, and end them. Art is death itself, a show of mortality, the light fading from someone's eyes. It is something that is always there, but only seen in short bursts, to appreciate for mere seconds before it disappears. I suppose that makes my dreams art, as well as the water rippling below my feet, the blood flowing in our veins the ink, and our minds the canvas._ Shirubachi grinned, that sounded so poetic! Totally the dramatic first impression she had wanted. Really she was trying to describe anime, because the images flitted by quickly but you could rewatch it anytime you wanted, and it had characters that lived and died, it was her dream too, the whole 'art is death itself' was actually something she thought very true as well, so the whole thing was totally accurate. She just made it sound more mysterious and cool. Shirubachi was quite proud of her little speech.

 _Who are you?_ That was Pein again.

 _I am Arashi Shirubachi, a budding artist, a servant of Jashin, an immortal, and a kunoichi._ She paused for a second. She was kind of a kunoichi, in a way. Maybe. Sort of. She would be soon. Shirubachi didn't think they needed to know that. _You don't need to introduce yourselves, I have requested your presence, Carrot-san, Puppet-san, Shark-san, Deidei-chan._ She was now taking slow steps across the water, laughing her head off. She knew they were probably all confused now, and her cute nicknames had most likely not helped.

 _Deidei-chan?_ This was Deidara. She decided to let her whole mysterious high and mighty thing drop now, it was fun, but it really didn't go with her relaxed and extraordinarily fabulous personality.

 _You betchya, isn't it kawaii? Hida-kun, you agree with me right?_ She did a couple jumps on the water, falling in on the third one. She sighed lightly, and pulled herself back to the surface to try again.

 _Chi you are a Jashin-damned genius._ She could picture each of the nicknamed Akatsuki members fuming. It was pretty funny, she laughed a bit harder, causing her to fall back into the water. She climbed out again, glad no one was watching her try to train herself.

 _Hidan, you knew of this?_ This sounded like Pein again.

 _Hell yeah I did, Chi here has been in my head for a couple days now Carrot-san._

 _Never call me Carrot-san again._ Shirubachi smiled brightly, hoping Hidan would do what she did to him.

 _Got it Carrot-chan._ She laughed here, managing to stay on top of the water this time.

 _I see you are learning from me Hida-kun!_ She began walking around on the surface of the water now.

 _Whats happening here, yeah?_

 _I agree with the brat. Explain now, I do not like to wait._

 _Okey, coolio. Well pretty much what happened is simple. I died in a car crash, woke up, and Hidan was in my head, ta-da._

 _Did you say you died then you woke up?_ Kisame finally spoke again. She hadn't expected the shark to be so quiet.

 _I did. I am dead, yet I am not. Wooooaaaaaah, creepy right?_ Shirubachi smiled, starting to get the hang of the water walking. She tried a couple jumps, finally able to land without falling through.

 _Arashi-san, this still does not explain anything._

 _You're right, Carrot-chan. It explains nothing, yet that is all I know. Oh by the way, I know your future. ALL of your future. Wahahaha_

 _._

 _What do you mean? Also, do not address me as Carrot-chan, Carrot-san, anything involving carrots is off limits._

 _Well you're no fun. I can't call you Pein, but I suppose Nagato doesn't really work too well anymore either. Definitely not Yahiko either…. hmm. I know!_ Shirubachi smirked a little, but she was somewhat nervous. _I'll call you Leader-chan! Of course, that would involve letting me into the Akatsuki._

Unknown to her, in the Naruto world, sitting in Ame, Pein was beyond wary of this Arashi Shirubachi. She knew of his past obviously, but how much? She also claimed to know the future, and with the way things were going, she probably did. She had wanted to join the Akatsuki though, and it seemed she had quite enough power. He had never heard of her though, and she was not in any of the bingo books. He sighed, it was better to have that power as an ally rather than an enemy, no matter how odd.

 _Fine. When can you get here, I wish to meet you face to face in order to properly test you._

 _Oh, sorry Leader-chan, no can do. The only way you can communicate with me is through Hida-kun I'm afraid. I'm surprised not one of you asked me what a car was at least._

Pein was now confused. He had missed it what with all that happened, but she had mentioned she died in a car crash, whatever that was. Not only that, but she refused to meet them in person. His musings stopped as she continued to think-speak.

 _Of course, I would love to meet all of you if I could. I mean, really, you're all Jashin-damn awesome. I'd pay to meet any of you. I just can't. You see, in my world, all of you are nothing more than fictional characters in an anime called Naruto, the main villains actually. Maybe someday I'll meet you, but for now, I'm afraid that just isn't possible._

Pein was in shock, did this woman really come from another world? One where his organisation was nothing more than villains in an anime? If that was the case however, she could be very valuable. It would mean she most likely truly did know their future. She had said they were the main villains in the anime though. He sighed, that meant they were doomed to failure. The main character was obviously the kyuubi jinchuuriki, Uzumaki Naruto, seeing as the show was titled Naruto. Possibly though, they could change the plot line. He thought for a moment, this meant she would be very useful, even if she was in a different world.

 _You're in. Welcome to the Akatsuki, Arashi Shirubachi._

 **oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

 **Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are welcomed, I do have several chapters written already but I'm excited to hear what you guys think, and I am willing to make changes if enough people request them. If I get... more than 5 reviews, I can have chapter2 out next Saturday. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Fate is Strange

Shirubachi fell in the water again. She was now a part of an organisation she had considered fictional until just days before. She cheered happily to herself in her little forest clearing, still with her lower legs submerged in water. This had gone incredibly well, and she didn't know what she did to get such great luck.

 _Yay, un!_ Shirubachi was incredibly happy. Double positives didn't really do anything, but because of her happiness, she decided to use one. Because. That was 100% the only reason.

 _Did you just... ? Do we have another art-freak now? Deidara and the puppet are more than enough._ That was Kisame. She blushed a bit, she actually tended to use Deidara's little 'yay, un' a lot. Her friends teased her about it a lot back in junior high. She'd mostly fixed it, that was the first un to end a sentence since Sophomore year.

 _Hai, I did. It used to be a lot worse, I picked it up from Deidei-chan some years back. It doesn't happen much anymore. Also yes, I am an art-freak but all I described earlier was anime. I draw, and hope to someday make a name for myself._ Shirubachi smiled happily, her dream was so close. Barely four years now, and she would graduate college and start her career.

 _Wonderful, now I have better things to do Silver._ That was Kisame again. She imagined a little click of a phone disconnecting, sadly there was no such noise. Ah, another nickname. Wonderful.

 _Did the shark call me an art-freak, hmm?_ Deidara interjected. Shirubachi couldn't help but giggle a bit, Deidara and Hidan were her top two and she planned on making that clear.

 _He meant me, you, and Puppet-san. I consider it a complement personally._ She pulled herself out of the water. She now had to find a way to change their plot, and consider her ultimate goal here. She wanted to save them all, minus Tobi, the damn lollipop, and possibly not Zetsu, the plant man terrified her, though she might admit to secretly loving him… Okay maybe he was number 4 on her list of favorite characters but that didn't mean he didn't scare the shit out of her. He was one of her favorite characters but she'd rather avoid actually encountering him. She also wanted to meet them all in person minus Tobi and Zetsu, but with the setup now, she doubted that was possible. Shirubachi was lucky, but she wasn't THAT lucky. No one was. She continued with her training, walking about the surface of the water whilst trying to move some of the droplets of water on her about in patterns. The multi-tasking was proving exceedingly difficult.

 _Do not group me with yourself and the brat, Arashi._ She humphed, then squeaked happily as an idea popped into her head. She almost fell into the water again, but luckily this time regained her composure enough to avoid it. The droplets she had been moving however, slid back in the natural way of water.

 _You're right Puppet-san, you are after all much older than me and Deidei. I'm 17, Deidei is 18, and Puppet-san, you're like 35 right? Your puppet body just makes you look young._ Part one of her plan- complete.

 _Yes. How do you know of this?_

 _Chi has her own damn ways._ Ah, Hidan. He'd been so quiet she had forgotten his existence. She took a moment to contemplate why he might have been so silent, as it was quite against his nature. Shirubachi then remembered he could hear every word she thought, so she stopped.

 _Hidan is right. I have my ways, never underestimate my information-gathering skills._ She felt Sasori's presence disappear from her mind, quickly followed by Pein's. Now it was just her and her two favorite characters. Plan: Success! Without thinking she had moved the droplet of water away from her skin a bit, letting it hover a centimeter or so away. It was now curling in little designs in front of her nose. For a moment, she wondered what her elemental affinity was. They didn't have chakra paper here, so she wouldn't be able to find out easily.

 _So, what's it like there in your world, yeah?_ She smiled, trying to find the best way to describe the world she grew up in.

 _I've been wondering the same fuckin thing, actually._ Now she had both of them listening.

 _Well, first of all it's really boring. There aren't any shinobi, or Daimyo, and no one seems to have any chakra, and if they do have it then no one knows how to use it. We have some pretty interesting technology, like the car I mentioned earlier, which is like a metal horseless carriage that can go faster than a ninja. It is a lot different from the elemental nations, that's for sure. Everyone is a 'civilian' here, even the soldiers. It's a lot more peaceful seeming, but it leaves you with little purpose in life. I have a dream yes, but my dream consists of completely submerging myself in a different reality, creating a world that has adventure, that's more than just mundane. I hate it here, and I have never felt like I belonged. The universe seems to disagree though, and it seems Jashin put me here for some reason or another._

She smiled sadly at the end, it seems the reason to help the Akatsuki, but she wished more than anything she were there to do it in person. It seemed almost fake this way, maybe she was in a coma and this was all a dream. That actually seemed to be the more rational of the two theories. Nevertheless, Shirubachi hoped that it wasn't the case, and if it were, then she planned on staying comatose for eternity.

 _Your world doesn't sound so bad, yeah. You can make art in peace, and no one will bother you when things explode, hmm._ She sighed sadly.

 _Chi if that's the case then you can sacrifice anyone you fucking want! Your world sounds fucking amazing._ She added another droplet to her design that was spinning carefully across her face.

 _No, I can't do either of those things. Here you can't kill, ever. Explosives are also not allowed. Really you're expected to live an innocent little life, going with the flow. It has a very strict structure, and high expectations. You're stuck in school around 2, then stay there til you're around 22, often longer, then you go and get a job somewhere, and unless you really try it's generally shitty._ She frowned sadly at her realisation. Her existence was practically pointless in this world, just like so many others..

 _That fucking sucks, it must be so damn boring!_ She hummed in affirmation before realising neither male could hear her and repeating the action in her head.

 _N-no explosions, un?_ Deidara seemed to be very distraught.

 _No explosions, fireworks are okay, but none of the good ones._

 _You live in a world deprived of art, hmm._

She hmphed, walking off the water and turning to head back to her house. It was time to get ready for graduation, and a shower, and hopefully also some sushi. She hopped into the trees, trying to properly propel herself from the branches like she had seen the shinobi do countless times. She crashed the first couple times, but quickly got a hang of it and sped through the trees silently, feeling like she was flying. It was rather addicting actually. Deidara and Hidan were bickering in her head, and she laughed quietly at the dreamlike situation. This is something she had only ever wished for, something she had never truly expected to happen. Shirubachi got back to her house all to quickly, missing the sensation of soaring through the trees as soon as her feet touched the ground. Well she actually crashed face first but close enough right?

She dragged herself into her shower, discarding her soaked and torn hakama by the door of her bathroom. As the shower steamed about her, she let herself completely tune out the bickering in her head, and just focused on the burning water pounding into her skin. She sung a little, as she always did in the shower, completely oblivious that due to her tuned out state she was repeating the tune in her head, effectively stopping Hidan's threats to Deidara, despite their entertaining value and creativity. She was unaware as she changed mindlessly between songs she had memorised years before, scrubbing the lavender-vanilla soap until it bubbled up, that this was music that neither Akatsuki member had ever had contact with, that it told them about her way of being in little snippets as her voice reflected her mood on each song, as it brought up all the little memories and thoughts connected to it. She was unknowingly giving them little bits of herself, and when their bickering resumed as her singing stopped, there was a silent agreement between the two males in her thoughts, that she would never know. After all, the memories were all fairly useless in most senses, they were simply platonic things, like how Shirubachi reacted when Momo first showed her a song and they joked about how ridiculous the chorus was, benign little things that did nothing more than display a bit of her personality. The moment ended almost as soon as it started, and while Deidara left soon after, Hidan caught himself wishing to meet the female Jashinist more than ever.

Shirubachi hopped out of the shower, wrapping a fluffy lilac towel around her hair, then another around her body, stepping out of the steam-warmed room and into her cold bedroom. She hopped a little to get to her closet, pulling out the grad gown and cap, and a nice indigo silk mermaid-style dress with a slit on the left from the ground to mid-thigh for under it. She quickly pulled it on, running a brush through her hair, pulling on her usual wine-colored lip stain and turning to wink cheesily at herself in her mirror.

 _Hidan, please do not bother me at the graduation ceremony, I can't start randomly laughing in the middle of it._

 _Fuckin hell Chi, you're gonna be bored without me. Obviously I'm the only entertaining thing around here._

 _It seems to me I lived 17 years without you. You've yet to meet my friends._

 _No ones fucking better than me._

 _Okay Hida-kun. But really, no talking to me at my graduation!_

 _Fine. I'll be quiet._

While Shirubachi was slightly surprised at Hidan's lack of cursing, she brushed it off easily and strode to her mom's car, a dark gray copy of her own, well except in a lot better shape. A lot of her family should've been in town, she guessed they were in hotels or something. Her brothers had been oddly un-annoying as well, in fact she hadn't seen them. This actually made her pause. That was not normal. She hopped out of the car, jogged back into the house and looked at the couch, the boys usual place of being. No one. She checked Aven's room, figuring maybe he was taking a nap. Then she remembered she hadn't seen either boy since she drove them to school the day of the crash.

"Hey Mom! Where are the boys? It's almost time to go!" She called out. She hadn't seen her mom since the day before either, but that wasn't all that odd, in fact it happened a lot.

No response. For like 5 minutes it was silent. Her phone went off in her room, so she ran to it as fast as she could, denting little chunks of the floor. She skid to a stop, leaving little gouges in the carpet. She picked up her phone, not bothering to check the caller id, the ringtone gave it away as her mother.

"Hey there! Where is everyone?" Shirubachi asked, a little put off. Definitely not normal, she usually got some kind of answer when she yelled up the stairs.

"Shiru, I'm sorry but I got called to Alaska, remember Tenshi? She is in critical condition and I need to be here for her, I can't go to your graduation. I should be back within a couple months, four tops. Your brothers are staying at your grandma's until I get back, they left when you got checked into the hospital. I know it's your graduation, but you'll be okay alone right?"

"Y-yeah, I'll be okay alone. Tell Tenshi I said hi." The phone clicked and did the little beepy thing it does when the other person hung up. She turned off her phone sadly, this wasn't something that was supposed to be skipped, but she had to step it up for the night, be the good daughter. Maybe she'd invite over Astelle, Salix, Kagame, and Momo after, to cheer her up. She was Akatsuki now, she couldn't afford to let her emotions get the better of her. Yeah, she was Akatsuki! That was enough to cheer her up a little, so she went back to the car, put in the key, and drove off. She started wondering how much it would cost to fix the little gouges in the floor, thinking that maybe if it were to much she could just get some rugs to put over them.

She pulled into the grassy lot outside the house of the school founder, where the graduation ceremony would be. Shirubachi walked to the back deck with the ocean view, at the sun beginning its journey down, maybe a half an hour from kissing the horizon. She watched it sink as the speeches were given, watched the stars twinkle into existence as the names were called, and basked in the silver glow of the moon as her own was spoken. She got her diploma, the silence in her mind feeling oddly lonely.

It had been only a few days since she first spoke to Hidan, but she was already used to his little comments on each of her thoughts, of his incessant cursing, and of his little jokes, that had been, without either realising it, keeping her cheerful demeanor. He was right, he was very entertaining. She frowned. Shirubachi was no fool, she knew she was a quiet girl, one who tended to be more than a bit sarcastic when she did speak, and rarely said what was on her mind, which meant she was generally terrible when it came to human interaction. But she was rarely wrong. And when she was, she didn't admit it. Hidan, being in her thoughts, meant she had admitted to being wrong. This situation had changed her a bit, she couldn't hide her thoughts so there was really no point in trying, but she had just admitted she was **wrong**. Incorrect. This was major. Arashi Shirubachi did not admit to being incorrect. Her thoughts were her own, she couldn't censor them because it was her own mind, directly communicating with his. She smiled softly as she drove her car back to her house alone. Maybe that was a good thing?

 _Hey Hidan?_

 _Yeah Chi?_

 _I…. was wrong. You are entertaining. I wish you were here so that you could be entertaining._

 _HA! I was fucking right! I wish you were here too, though. But you'd have to fucking admit I'm right all the time._ Shirubachi could almost hear his smirk in her mind. She scowled and decided to change the subject.

 _Do I still get a cloak and ring in this world too? It would be nice._

 _You probably do, I'll ask Leader-chan and find some way to get them to you._

 _Thank you._

 _No problem. Don't ask for too many fucking favors though. They're annoying._

 _Sure, sure. Not too many favors, but you can't complain as much on missions. Its annoying._

 _Missions should take some of Kakuzu's fuckin creepy ass tentacles up their ass so far it comes out of their fucking mouths._

 _Of course they should. Missions don't have bodies Hida, they have body counts. How the hell would you make any sacrifices if you didn't take missions though?_

 _Kakuzu would make a really fucking good sacrifice. Damn miser, the better half of him must've run down his father's leg._

 _I dunno. Kakuzu's good with money management, and is actually a pretty great character._

 _I hope some rabid wolves fuck out that heathens eyes, I bet his heads full of the money he oh so adores. Actually, I'd feel really fucking bad if that happened, nothing should ever have to be that close to his ugly face. He has five fucking hearts, you'd think one of them'd work properly. If I had $100 for every fuck I give about his sorry ass I'd still be poor as fucking dirt, and it's not because Jashin-sama abhors materialism._

 _That was actually pretty creative. Good job Hida-kun. But, have you even ever seen Kakuzu's face?_

 _...I still fucking hate that nickname._

 _Oh? Run out of ideas? And you never answered my question._

 _I just don't feel like wasting my beautiful fucking insults on you. I know you'll just copy them. Your not fucking creative enough. And why should it matter if I've never seen Kakuzu's face? It's obviously fucking ugly if he has that mask on all the fucking time!_

 _Pft, I am too creative enough!_

 _Fucking prove it._

 _The only difference between you and a baby is that I feel bad for laughing when a baby dies._

 _Chi we're both fucking immortal. I can't die._

Shirubachi was quiet as she parked her car outside her house, slipping inside and heading to her room. She slipped out of her clothes, washed off her face, and pulled on her softest pair of sweats and a tank top. She curled up in her bed, burying herself in the blankets.

 _Dammit Hidan. I refuse to admit your right again._

 _Ah ha! I'm always right! You didn't call me fucking Hida-kun either!_

 _FUCKING HELL! Wrong, you're wrong! I'm always right, not you. Damnit Hida, I'm tired. Lemme sleep._

 _Fiiiine. Night Chi._

 _Night Hidan._ She let the throes of sleep overtake her, her dreams filled with silver-white hair, violet eyes, and black cloaks dotted with red clouds. Also ice cream, because why wouldn't there be ice cream in her dreams? It was good.

* * *

Shirubachi woke up surrounded by warmth. She curled closer against the wall she was facing, burying her nose against the warm thing. She cracked open one eye slightly, and was met with the extraordinarily pale beige-ish color that was her wall. She let the eyelid fall close again, cuddling up against it. She heard a slight groan come from said wall, and blearily blinked open her eyes. It was not a wall. She felt something move a bit behind her, and heard soft breathing all around her room. She looked up at the alleged wall, still not entirely out of her sleepy daze, and saw a pale face, with slicked back silvery hair. She looked to the chest she was curled up against, at the scars dotting the flesh, and at the silver rosary that hung around his neck.

"Hida-kun?" She murmured, reaching a hand up to touch his face, to make sure this was real. Hidan groaned softly, and shifted a bit. She crawled up a bit, moving her head from his chest to the crook of his neck. Shirubachi felt his breath against her upper back, tickling it a bit.

"Hida-kun~" She whispered again, now into his ear.

"Yeah Chi?" He mumbled sleepily.

"Open your eyes." Shirubachi looked up at his face as his violet eyes fluttered open.

"Mornin' Chi." She smiled a bit, waiting. "Wait, CHI?" Ah. There it was.

"You betcha. Welcome to my world Hidan." He sat for a minute, then pulled her a bit closer.

"What the fuck kind of dream is this?" He asked her.

"I don't know. A good one I guess. I'm still always right, by the way." She watched as he bit his finger, a little well of blood pulling up. She tried the same, her unnaturally sharp canines making the process relatively simple. She easily stifled her hiss at the mild pain.

"Well. Jashin be damned, it seems this is fucking real."

"So I guess you really are here then." She smiled softly. "Eh, enjoy your stay?"

"What's all that noise, yeah?" She flipped over immediately as she heard another voice. Her face was met with a curtain of long golden hair.

"Deidei?" She asked. "How many of you are here?" She looked over him, and saw Pein lying stiffly in the far side of her room, next to her chair, which contained a resting Sasori. The majority of her floor however, was occupied by a large blue shark man.

"The fuck? How the hell did this happen? I thought it had something to do with the mental connection, but if they're here to then obviously not." Hidan asked her.

"I actually have no clue whatsoever." She sat up against the back wall of her bed. "I know what we must do now though." She grinned. "Let me get the supplies."

Within half an hour the three of them had managed to: die Kisame's hair a ridiculous bubble gum pink, putting sparkly hair clips in it, and smearing cherry red lipstick over the lower half of his face, and getting a sharpie to draw little fish all over his forehead; curl Sasori's hair, and put his hands rather suggestively on one of her old dolls, rimming his eyes with white eyeliner and bejeweling his nose like a little disco ball; and for Pein, all they did was print some Pein x Konan fan art and put it over his eyes, in his hands, and littering the ground around him.

Shirubachi stuffed her knuckles in her mouth, clicking many pictures of the scene for her phone, barely contained laughter coming from Hidan and Deidara.

"Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful."

"Not quite art, but pretty close, hmm."

"Can I fucking wake them up yet?"

"Go for it Hida. Then I can go make breakfast." With those words, Shirubachi hopped over to her door, standing there as Hidan grinned and screamed 'wake the fuck up heathens'. Kisame shot up immediately, looked around, and started laughing in a way that bordered on hysteria. His laughter brought Sasori awake, who looked directly at Kisame and raised an eyebrow. Pein awoke shortly after, the suggestive pictures of himself and Konan fluttering off his eyes. He looked around, and blushed. Actually BLUSHED. It cleared within moments, but Shirubachi had it captured on camera now, forever. She giggled and headed out the door, deciding to make waffles and banana bread. She heard vague shouts from her room, and rested her phone in the stereo, blasting some music over them. A disgruntled Kisame walked into her kitchen soon after, glared at her for a moment, and laughed.

"It was worth it to see Pein blush." He shouted over the music, and she looked over at him, seeing he had washed off the lipstick and sharpie, but had been unable to wash out the temporary dye that left his hair garishly pink. She guessed Hidan had explained their predicament to them. That must have been the shouting.

"I have pictures." She shouted back, twisting her feet around to check the oven which had just dinged. "Oh, do you have Samehada with you? I know Hida-kun's scythe was in the closet, and I just found Deidei's clay pouch with my pots and pans." She shrugged, having no idea whatsoever what was happening and had just kind of decided to go with the flow. If you can't change what happened why bother? She would rather be in their world, but hey, she still got to meet them. Her luck was truly odd.

"No, I haven't found her yet, though I sense her chakra signal coming from somewhere up there." He waved his hand about, motioning at the ceiling of the kitchen, so somewhere in the upstairs living room. "I'll go get her, I recommend dealing with them though, before they trash your house."

"Smart. I'll get you when breakfast is ready." She heard screaming coming from her room. "Actually can you stay here for a minute, I have some idiots to deal with."

"Sure, Samehada isn't going anywhere." She hummed and turned to her bedroom. Shirubachi scowled, and shoved open her door. She was actually ecstatic, but they couldn't know that. _Don't smile, don't smile, don't smile…_ repeated in her head as she stepped in.

"ALRIGHT. Whats going on here?" Hidan's head was being slammed repeatedly into her desk by a very pissed off Deidara, who had a gash marring his face and some bruises lacing his arm. Sasori was neutrally sitting in the corner on a chair, reading one of her books. It seems he had yet to take the time to fix his appearance, so it was a rather ridiculous sight. Judging by the sound of running water and steam seeping out of her bathroom she guessed Pein was taking a shower. He would probably smell like either lavender-vanilla or cupcakes when he got out, depending on which of her body washes he used.

 _This isn't fucking funny, my head fucking HURTS, and not in the damn good way!_ Hidan thought to her.

 _I'll fix it, one sec. Once you're no longer in pain, you'll see what I think is funny, believe it._ She replied happily.

"Hidan insulted my art, I told him my opinion on his weird religion, then this happened, yeah." Deidara said plainly.

"You did what, Dei-chan?" She asked in her most sickly sweet voice.

"I told him Jashinism is just an excuse for fucked-up sacrifices, and was nothing more than a half-assed reason for his awful habits?" Deidara said, a bit of questioning in his voice.

"You'll pay for insulting Jashin-sama, you fucking heathen!" She roared, and unthinkingly packed her fist full of chakra, and swung it at his face. She wasn't exactly on par with his martial arts skills yet, so he easily caught her fist, but she heard a grunt and a satisfying snapping noise as some of the bones in his hand broke. This action also served to free Hidan, who gave a whistle at the power in the impact.

"You're not… a female Hidan, are you?" Deidara looked somewhat terrified at his theory. Hidan had a smug smirk on his face as Shirubachi grinned maniacally.

"Why no, of course not. My eyes are BROWN, not purple, smart one." Deidara shuddered and Hidan's smirk grew into a grin eerily similar to her own.

"But you like explosions, yeah?" He asked, with a bit of panic in his eyes.

"Deidei, I am neither you nor Hidan, though I share many of each of your traits, I also have a lot of my own. For instance, yes I love explosions, and gore, and fire, but I also really love kittens. In fact, I was going to get one after graduation in celebration, but sadly now I cannot, as I have the the 5 of you to deal with. So," Here she paused, reaching behind her and grabbing several items out of her closet, "As punishment, you will be wearing these for the next week." She passed him the boxes, and the color drained out of his face as he looked in them.

"U-un." He said, turning out of her room. "Where do I change…" Deidara said, giving into his fate with a sigh.

"My older brother's room is down the hall to the left, past the living room. It will be converted into your room, Pein will get my parents bedroom upstairs, Kisame will get my little brother's room down here, and Sasori will get my other brother's room upstairs." She said, shooing him out.

"What about Hidan?" Hidan grunted something about being in the same damn room.

"Hidan will be sharing my room. I trust him." Hidan repeated his previous phrase, this time with a cocky grin.

"That's a stupid choice, I'll go change now, yeah." Shirubachi didn't stop Hidan when he punched Deidara as the blonde left the room. In fact she cackled right along with him.

"What was in the box?" Hidan asked her. Her grin spread even wider.

"Oh, you'll see at breakfast. Feel free to look around, or really do whatever. I have to finish cooking." She skipped out of the room, taking back the oven from Kisame. She hummed a jaunty sounding tune, clicking up the volume on the stereo a couple notches. Shirubachi practiced some of her ballet as she whisked about the kitchen, random little bursts she habitually did after 7 years of practice. So of course, when she pulled the banana bread out of the oven, finished the last waffle, had a neat assembly line of various toppings, and called the five males to the kitchen for breakfast, they witnessed her do a perfect cambre to catch the syrup bottle that had fallen over, midair.

"I see you have potential to be more than a simple informer for the Akatsuki, Arashi-san." Pein states monotonously. Shirubachi huffed in agreement before dishing up her plate of baked wonderfulness.

"What is this stuff, hmm?" Deidara said, walking down the hall. Hidan turned and immediately broke out laughing. Shirubachi stuffed her knuckles in her mouth to prevent herself from doing the same, Kisame chuckling loudly as well, Samehada now strapped to his back.

"Brat, what are you wearing." Sasori's near emotionless voice asked, though it sounded much more like a statement then a question. Shirubachi smirked. She had handed Deidara a box containing a fluffy, bright blue, glittering cat tail and matching set of ears. There had also been a box with furry neon blue leg warmers and detached lolita sleeves, spandex black short-shorts, and a loose neon blue crop top. This was all topped off with a black bow instead of his usual hair band. The result was a scowling Deidara, all dressed up like a neon blue kitty.

"Silver wanted a kitten. Apparently she got us instead, and is forcing me to wear this." Said kitten-loving female was now shoving strawberry, whip cream, and syrup covered waffle pieces into her mouth sitting at the dining room table. She took a moment to finish her bite of food before glancing at them innocently.

"I had actually gotten that outfit because it reminded me of your eyes, wore it halloween this last year. Pretty fun. I have a lot more cat outfits if the rest of you want them, though I think Deidei-chan looks the cutest." She held out some pictures of her wearing the outfit, along with her friends in similar ones. Hidan huffed.

"Looked a fucking lot better on you." She raised an eyebrow.

"I disagree, Dei is adorable." Shirubachi walked over and hugged the fluffily-clad male. "Kawaii." She handed him an empty plate and returned to her spot.

"Why do I always recruit the weird ones…" Pein mumbled to himself at the table, and when he shifted his arm a bit you could see a particularly racy picture of him and Konan folded neatly under it. Sasori carefully avoided the food and sat in the corner of the room, whilst Deidara sat grumbling with a full plate of blueberry waffles and banana bread across from Shirubachi, who had just started her fifth waffle. Hidan plopped down next to her, with the same strawberry-whip cream coated waffles she had. Pein seemed to 'reluctantly' grab a plate of banana bread as well, sitting at the head of the table. Kisame took the other end of the table, a multitude of food covering his plate hidden under all manner of toppings.

¨Because normal people are scary.¨ Shirubachi stated simply in answer. Hidan grunted in agreement through a mouthful of waffles.

¨Really though, Silver what are these, hmm?¨ Deidara asked again, before continuing to shovel the food into his mouth.

¨I have never seen anything quite like them.¨ Pein put in.

¨Whatever they are, they are fucking wonderful!¨ Hidan decided to add, going to get sixths on his.

¨Ah, yes. Waffles are a beautiful food. The bread stuffs banana bread, the square stuff is waffles. You'll get used to them, they are my favorite breakfast therefore I make them a lot.¨ Shirubachi smiled, before shoveling another waffle into her mouth. This one was covered in sliced up bananas and chocolate. "Have you really never had waffles? What about pizza? Surely you've had pizza right?" Shirubachi asked them, slightly dismayed. She knew they had more Japanese styled foods in the Narutoverse, but no waffles seemed kind of like a sad thing. She didn't know if she could live without waffles.

"Nope, never had waffles. Or pizza either." Kisame said, pausing in his eating for a few moments.

"We are having pizza for lunch then, later. You can't say you've lived if you've never had pizza." Shirubachi stated, nodding her head at the end. "So, any ideas how you guys got here?"

"I remember going to bed, then waking up here, yeah." Deidara stated through a mouthful of waffles, so it sounded more like 'I remwefer ge-ng tw bhd, thewn wa-ng uh hare'.

"No clue. I think I was training, then I woke up on your floor. It's kind of hazy." Kisame said simply.

"Mmkay, so Sharky-shark was awake. Maybe when your memory clears up it'll help." Shirubachi cut in, moments before Sasori spoke. Kisame looked rather dismayed at his nickname.

"I was working on a new puppet. Awake as well."

"I was fucking asleep, and I must say I damn liked where I woke up better than the shitty bed I went to sleep on." Hidan said, smirking at Shirubachi.

"Meaning, thus far, it had nothing to do with actually sleeping. I cannot remember exactly what I was doing before awakening here." Pein summed up what they had been saying.

"Sooooo… We have accomplished absolutely nothing by sitting here and talking about this. What we SHOULD do, is take the current situation, make a plan, and see what we can accomplish until we figure out a way to get us all back to the correct world." Shirubachi stated, taking on her 'professional' outlook. She picked up her empty plate and put it in the sink before kneeling on her chair so she was tall enough to be at eye level with most of the surrounding males. Why were they all tall? She thought Deidara and Sasori were only 5ft. "What we've got access to here includes a shit load of information, which I am letting none of you see before I tell you some very important things. If you watch it, you watch it ALL. It is going to be disturbing to you, but I am not letting you off with just a little information.

Being misinformed is the worst thing to possibly be in this situation; this is my world, none of you will last without a guide, and I know your world better than any of you do, I don't lack information, however you do. Lying to me will be pointless, I will know.

This is my home, where I am letting you set up base. I will show you around, but I will warn you now, this world is very different from yours. I will not tolerate certain things, as I'm sure each of you have a code of conduct, I have my own. Starting with the fact that I expect common sense to be used, such as not blowing up my house, secondly, I don't want strangers here. Third, you do NOT under any circumstance touch the plaque in the front yard. EVER. Fourth, and finally, don't use the oven unless you can cook more than 2 things. It annoys me. There are cookbooks for a reason."

"That is reasonable. Are there any other things we can achieve while in this world Arashi-san?" Pein asked her politely.

"The technology here is far better and in some ways far worse than that of your world." She pulled her iPhone out of her pocket, where it always was. "See?" She turned it on, slid her finger across the screen and entered the passcode. She felt Hidan lean on her shoulder for a better view. "This is a communication device, touchscreen, you can carry it anywhere, but when it gets low on battery you have to plug it into a wall with a special cord. It can do all kinds of stuff, I read on mine, and listen to music, and send messages to my friends, not to mention watch anime, search for any knowledge I want, it has a lot of uses. This isn't even the latest model, it's actually from about two years ago."

"Get me one of these communication devices." Pein told her evenly, staring at her with those steely ringed eyes.

"Uh, I can't really do that right now. They're really expensive, and then I would have to pay an extra bill each month too. I think mine was about $300 for the phone itself, but my data plan so I can actually use it also costs extra money each month." Shirubachi sighed, turning the phone off.

"Holy shit, stitch face would have a heart attack in all five hearts! Those things are worth a fucking fortune!" Hidan exclaimed.

"No shit, hmm. They seem to do a lot." Deidara responded.

"So… are you all just gonna sit around watching anime all day while you're here? I know I do that a lot, hell that's actually basically my life. If you wanna check some shit in this world out though, I would love to show you all the not shitty stuff. Like amusement parks." Shirubachi then grinned, somewhat comparable to a fox.

"I would like to gather as much information as possible of this world, our top priority however remains information on our own." Pein said.

"Noice. Well, I can give you my laptop, and show you how to use it. Just watch Naruto." Shirubachi turned to her bedroom, pulling her laptop from its place next to her bed, before returning to the kitchen. "Here ya go. Just pull it open like so," she opened her laptop, "type in the password," she did so slowly so that Pein could clearly see it, "and slide your finger on the mouse to this little button, then press down. Easy." She had an anime website up already, so she pressed Naruto episode 1 and handed it over. "I doubt you need the english subtitles, hell can you even read english? Anyway, the blue button on the right says next episode, so just click that when you want to watch the next one. I don't feel like rewatching Naruto AGAIN today, so I'll probably just train all day, maybe go out with some friends, it is my first day out of highschool after all." She smiled, turning before her phone rang. The ninjas of course did not expect this, so they all... Well they reacted the way you would expect of S-rank ninjas in unfamiliar territory hearing a sudden burst of random music. Shirubachi of course reacted the way you would expect of an otaku with a house full of her favorite anime characters throwing shuriken and ninjutsu due to her phone ringing.

"Y-yo. Arash-shi Shiruba-bachi speaking." She choked into the phone, laughing her head off. She had to stop in her words to catch her breath, only to laugh more.

"SHIRRRUUUUUUUUUU! Me and Demon are coming to your house in an hour, I ran out of breakfast stuff so we decided to just come over early. I got you a graduation present too!" Shirubachi then sighed amidst her bout of laughter. The Akatsuki were looking at her weird now. Of course they were. If they didn't think she was crazy at this point then she would be more concerned.

"Ahah, okay. I already ate breakfast, get your own Momo. I have company over as well, so behave. Don't bring over swords or explosives again... You remember what happened." Hidan of course started laughing at this point due to the memory conjured up in her mind. Yeah, she had totally not blown up her neighbor's yard or anything like that. Or incited the wrath of a pregnant goat. No not at all.

 _What the fuck Chi? Goats? Why goats?_

 _Eh heh heh…. Because goats?_

 _That's not a fucking answer._

 _Lemme focus._

 _I'll figure it out alone then. Fuck you, Chi._

 _I doubt you're smart enough._

 _I'll fuckin prove you wrong._

 _Sure, sure. Have fun with that. Just shut up._

 _Fucking fine._

"Who do you have at your house? Last I checked I know all your friends, they are also my friends you know, and they're all busy today. Plus that sounds like a guy, and that laugh... It sounds familiar. I just can't name it. I know the only two guys in our group. Ones my brother after all."

"Er... You'll see when you get here I guess. Yeah, you'll understand right when you walk in my door. I gotta go, see ya~" She hung up, wide eyed. "Ah shit. Well, let's make a good impression." Her look transformed into a foxy grin again.

"I was assuming we were going to try and go undiscovered, it seems strategic in this situation." Pein input.

"Strategic but fairly impossible honestly. You guys are damn well celebrities here, if you wanted your presence unknown then it would be either permanent henges or staying locked in my house all the time. You might as well make the best of this. Now, for first impressions. Put on your cloaks and stuff, and I'll just use that lolita dress I got last year for Christmas. It won't look the same and my friends will all recognise it cuz I wear it quite often, but it should do. Kisame, fix your hair, I'm sure one of my brothers has a different shampoo than me so you won't smell like lavender and cupcakes." Shirubachi looked pointedly at Pein there, "And line up by the door so we can scare the shit out of them when they show up. Well except Dei. Cat ears and a bow aren't exactly menacing." She nodded to herself and headed to her room to change, the rest of the Akatsuki just throwing on their cloaks and standing idly by the sliding glass door.

A while later Shirubachi returned decked out in a fluffily layered black lolita dress with kimono-esque sleeves and akatsuki clouds lining the bottom, a black lace choker, and knee high black toeless boots. She stood at the front of the little line, with Pein next to her, followed by Kisame, next Sasori, after him Hidan, and finally Deidara. About two minutes of quiet conversation and lots of Hidan yelling at Deidara a black Harley skidded in. The two girls on the bike popped off their helmets, Momo grinning and a granola bar she pulled out of her side bag in her mouth, Kuriako behind her more casually walking instead of the hoppy steps Momo was doing.

"Yo. That was pretty fast, nice breakfast you got there Momo." Shirubachi said, pulling open the door semi-dramatically and waving her friends inside.

"Why of course Shiru, a granola bar is the finest breakfast. So you mentioned having company, when can we meet the-" Momo stopped inside the door, Shirubachi grinned like the cheshire cat.

"Momo move out of the door. You're so weird…. what did you see this time?" Kuriako nudged Momo from her place trapped outside the house.

"Aka-aka-aka-akat-AKATSUKI!" Momo screamed, racing towards Sasori, her dear favorite. Kuriako groaned and walked in with her hand in a face palm position over her eyes.

"Yes Momo, new Akatsuki merch. What's it this time Shiru? A Sasori related thing? Sure would explain Momo's freak out…" Kuriako lifted her hand away from her face to gesture at Momo only to freeze for a couple seconds before grabbing Momo away from Sasori. "Explain. Now."

Shirubachi sighed, she should've known they wouldn't scream, despite her efforts. "Huh… No I don't think I will explain." She walked to the living room and plopped down on the couch, sticking her tongue out immaturely at her closest two friends. Soon Hidan joined her on the couch, Deidara pouting on the other side and adjusting his bow. The rest of the Akatsuki present in her house stood or sat around them, and Kuriako moved to stand directly in front of her, Momo hanging off the ravens torso.

"Arashi Shirubachi explain NOW." Shirubachi gulped, Kuriako was actually generally pretty relaxed, but she liked knowing things and she had ways of learning them.

"Hell no bitch, there's no fucking way I'll allow you to talk to Chi like that. I'd insult you more but I'm not sure you'd understand what was going on. Do you need Chi to fucking explain that too? " Shirubachi didn't even have to turn her head to know it was Hidan.

"Tch, no, I need to understand why the fucking hell _Shirubachi_ has a group of fucking S-class criminals in her house without my fucking favorite among them, 'ma." Kuriako promptly shut up. It had been awhile since that particular impediment of hers acted up. It was usually 'ma or 'kuma, but it was actually that she used to end her sentences with full on akuma. Hence her nickname, Demon, or Akuma. There little group all had nicknames. Peaches (Momo), Stars (Astelle), Fish (Salix), Demon or Akuma-chan for Kuriako, Blue (Haku), Rain (Kagame), Shinigami (Kuran), and Stormy (Shirubachi). It was actually something they came up with in Freshman year, most of them just weren't very creative in naming.

"...Really Demon? Really? You're pissed because fucking weasel isn't here? Not because I didn't fucking tell you I had the Akatsuki in my home?" Shirubachi put it, somewhat exasperated.

"DUH! I mean really, you got the vampire and the bomber, Peaches got the puppet, hell even Sharky and Carrot are here! So why the fuck isn't Ita-kun here?!" Kuriako shouted, almost to herself. At this point Momo had removed herself from Kuriako and wrapped her arms around Sasori's head, resting her hands over his eyes. The puppet master was stumbling about the back of the room and attempting to pry off the girl with his hands, and there was no doubt he'd eventually just paralyse her or knock her out. Therefore when Shirubachi answered, her laughter was understandable.

"Ch-chill bro. I have no fuck-cking idea why sir redeye ain't here, and I don't particularly care. I got my top favorites here, minus Zetsu, but I'm not sure I WANT to meet Zetsu, so I'm cool. Y'know Itachi is second to last on my list, right in front of the evil-ass lollipop. I don't fucking like the damn weasel so he can stay the fuck outta my damn house." Shirubachi wrapped her arms around Deidara and Hidan's shoulders, as if proving her point. Kuriako, not seeing the scene happening behind her, took Shirubachi's laughter as something that happened due to her conversation and gave the confetti-haired girl a death glare.

"Well then you owe me food." Shirubachi nodded, going off to get her friend some leftover waffles or something. Whilst she was gone, Kuriako turned to the men of the Akatsuki who were in the living room.

"I'm not even gonna bother asking you people where Itachi is, Shiru's list of favorites is practically mine in reverse." Kuriako turned on her heel to sit in her designated armchair. She finally saw Sasori and Momo then, and let a grin pass across her face, and a deep chuckle left her lips.

"What do you mean 'list of favorites', un?" Deidara asked.

"What's it sound like I mean? Shirubachi likes some Akatsuki members than others. Actually the order she put them in is Hidan, then you Deidara, the Kisame, followed by Zetsu, then Sasori, next Kakuzu, after that Pein, then Konan, then Itachi, and finally Tobi. Mine is Itachi, then Sasori, followed by Pein, next Kakuzu, then Kisame, after that Konan, next you Deidara, then Zetsu, then Hidan, then Tobi."

"Oi bitch what the fuck? Why the hell am I second to fucking last?" Hidan yelled at her. Her grin fell from her face as quickly as it had begun.

"You're too loud, and frankly, I find you rude and annoying."

"Well fuck you too. I hope I die before you so I don't have to be the only one at your fucking funeral. I like Chi fucking better anyway."

"No I'd rather not be fucked by you Hidan. If I have it my way, you will die first. By my hands of course. Sadly for you, no one will be at your funeral."

"Heathen whore. You'll die alone and miss everything cool."

"I'm not going to indulge you with a reply."

"Too fucking late, you already did."

"Hidan, shut up, un." Deidara cut in, pushing Kuriako away. He looked over to the back of the room, as did Hidan and Kuriako, once she got off the ground.

Sasori was now stumbling about the back of the room more vicariously, before tripping over the couch and landing in Deidara's lap. At the last moment, Momo had transferred her weight from his shoulders and head to his back, with her hands still over his eyes. Deidara was now desperately attempting to escape, but only really making the situation worse.

"ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE HELD AGAINST YOU! SO ONLY SAY MY NAAAAAAME! IT WILL BE HELD AGAINST YOU!" Momo was now belting out random Fall Out Boy lyrics, laughing her head off. Sasori may have been her favorite character, but SasoDei was her OTP. And the lyric did seem to fit the situation rather well, with Sasori yelling at the red haired girl to get off of him.

Kuriako had started grinning again and she was plugging her iPod into Shirubachi's speaker system, because when lyrics were spoken music was needed.. Soon the whole house was filled with 'Planetary (Go)'and a 'OH HELL THE FUCK YES' could be heard from the kitchen.

Shirubachi emerged to see Momo had finally gotten off of Sasori and was now using an upside down brush for a makeshift microphone. It was her favorite song on the album after all. Sasori was sitting in the corner, on the floor, holding a likely poisoned kunai in front of his face, his generally half lidded eyes slightly widened. Somehow, Shirubachi found it likely he was faking his 'fear'. Deidara was laughing his head off at this situation of course, anything Sasori did that wasn't off handed emotionlessness or "art" amused him, before Kuriako pounced on him, and threw off his cloak. She'd seen his ears and bow and assumed Shirubachi had somehow managed to get him into her costume. When his laughter stopped and his face turned redder than Sasori's hair as she began to pull off his cloak, she realised she was very VERY right. Before he could get away, Shirubachi had grabbed his hand as well as Hidan's and were dragging them to her carpeted floor, bouncing up and down.

"This is one of the best songs ever, you gotta dance with me! Come on pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaase!" She said, making her eyes as big as she could. She knew she got em when Deidara grumbled and stopped trying to head back to her room, and Hidan swirled her around 'reluctantly'. Pein had already headed upstairs with her laptop, no doubt to watch Naruto.

 _I told you, my friends are entertaining._

 _I'm still way fucking better._

 _I'd wish you luck on trying to get me to say I'm wrong ever again, but you fucked yourself over the minute you started trying._

"I'm ordering pizza, that cool Stormy?" Kuriako called, lifting up her phone.

"Hell yeah! Guess what? These guys have never tried pizza!" Shirubachi yelled back, her voice barely heard over the music. Kuriako made a shocked face.

"What the fucking hell is so good about this pizza shit anyway?" Hidan asked her.

"LE GASP! Pizza is some of the best food ever, next to waffles! Oh and sushi, but I bet you've had that." Shirubachi answered. At the mention of sushi, Kisame paled from where he'd been standing, next to the tv. The shark-man had been slightly nodding along, unaware of the waiting Momo preparing to pounce on his back, having left her spot lip syncing dramatically at the center of the room.

"Fucking hell! You mean this hell hole has more fucking food that damn good? What about barbeque, do you guys have good barbeque?" Shirubachi nodded enthusiastically, and Kuriako chuckled, mumbling something about plates. Momo then pounced on Kisame, letting out a 'hyah!' as the huge man shrieked. Yes shrieked. The room suddenly went silent, minus the music, as every head in the room turned to the blushing shark-man.

"What the hell was that?" Questioned Kuriako.

"That was fucking Kisame! The fish squeals like a fucking bitch!" Kisame's face was now a deep purple.

"Heh heh… I'm gonna go… clean Samehada. Yeah." Kisame walked calmly out of the room, forgetting Momo was perched on his back. She turned and winked, before lifting one hand off his shoulders and waving. The blue man's echoing footsteps sped up as he ran up the stairs. Samehada was still downstairs, leaned against a wall.

"Should we call Haku? We haven't seen him in a while." Kuriako shouted over the music. The song had changed, now onto 'American Idiot', Greenday.

"Who the fuck is Haku?" Hidan put in.

"There's too many people in your world, yeah!"

"Nah, I know almost fucking all of Chi's friends, and I haven't heard a fucking thing about a bitch named 'Haku'."

"Haku is a guy first of all, so bitch is not proper terminology." Kuriako put in.

"You haven't heard about Haku cuz he doesn't go to the same school as the rest of us. He goes to the public high school around here. He and Kagame are actually members six and seven of our group. I'm sure Momo already called Ame. Haku is Momo's twin brother, blue hair, green eyes, you'll know him when you see him."

"I cannot deal with another one of them! I didn't think anyone could be worse than Deidara, but I was obviously wrong." Came Sasori's voice from the corner.

"How many people are in this group of yours, un?" Deidara seemed to totally ignore Sasori insulting him.

"Well, there's me obviously, then Demon over there who you know as Kuriako, but we all call her Demon or Akuma-chan, Momo, Haku, Ame, Astelle, or Stars as we call her, Salix, who is known by many Fish related nicknames, mainly Fish-face, Fishy, FishFish, and Miss Fishy, and many more, and finally Kuran, but he lives pretty far from here. That's it. So there's just the eight of us. Also, hell yeah! You better call Haku, it's been fucking five-ever!"

"Mmkay, give me a sec. Also, Shiru your fucking terrible at scaring people so let me handle it this time." Shirubachi laughed, yeah harmless scares weren't really her thing. Well, not the planned ones. She scared people without realising it all the fucking time. The whole laughing at nothing does that. It really didn't help that due to her semi-deep, a little dry voice, her laughs tended to sound creepy.

"Got it Kuma-chan."

"Stop fucking insulting Chi!" Hidan yelled at his newly developed enemy. Kuriako laughed it off, hugging Shirubachi. The confetti haired girl stuck her tongue out childishly, and pulled her way up to Kuriako's shoulders, swaying in time to the music.

 _It's okay Hidan, she acts tough at first, but she's actually really cool. She doesn't like you in the show cuz apparently you annoy her, but seeing as she's my closest friend, she probably will grow to like you._

 _Fucking fine. I don't have to fucking like her now though._

 _Okay. I see your logic. Just don't sacrifice her._

 _I'll fucking try. No guarantees._

Shirubachi grinned and put her hands on Kuriako's head. Hidan, knowing what she was gonna do, stepped closer. The girl flipped her legs over her head and arms, landing on Hidan's shoulders backwards. She switched around to face everyone.

"Mm, so I'll call Haku now." Kuriako dialed a number into her phone, putting it to her ear.

"No, no. I cannot deal with another of them. Do not call the she-demon's twin brother!" Sasori piped up from the corner again, his eyes slightly widened.

"Don't worry, they aren't really anything like each other. Momo got all the bubbly cheery hyperness of the duo, Haku is much more calm, but also a lot easier to piss off. Also, do not say anything about him being mental, emo, or anything like that. It is not good for your health. You may be S-class nuke nin, but he has Momo for a sister and he isn't completely insane yet." Sasori calmed back to his usual emotionless demeanor, and nodded slightly.

"HEY HAKU~ we're all gonna be at Storm's tonight, you should be here."

"Too many people." Came the muffled reply through the receiver.

"Oh come on, theres only…. thirteen of us!"

"Why are there thirteen of you? Isn't it usually seven besides myself?"

"What the fucking hell that guy fucking talks like Itachi!" Shouted Hidan.

 _Yup, he sure does. That's why Kuma likes Itachi so much. Really everyone can tell but the two of them. Its pretty funny._

 _Oh, so the Demon-bitch wants to fuck him._

 _Not exactly… Kind of. Actually I think so yeah._

"Who was that?" Came Haku's voice through the phone.

"One of the reasons why we have thirteen people coming instead of seven."

"Well that is still far too many people. I think I'll just stay home and listen to music."

"Shiru ordered pizza and plans on making waffles."

 _I thought you said you weren't making more fucking waffles?_ Hidan looked over at Shirubachi who looked mildly pissed off.

 _I did._

 _Ahh._

"I'll be there in an hour." Then came a click as the phone on the other end got hung up.

"YAY! Let me turn the music back up~" Kuriako walked back to the stereo with a spring in her step.

At that Momo came racing down the stairs screaming. She jumped into the air and landed safely on Kuriako's back. Kuriako stumbled from the weight, falling on her face into Deidara. Deidara had his back turned, not expecting anything, but the impact knocked him into Hidan. Shirubachi launched herself off his shoulders and clung to the ceiling with her newly trained chakra, but Hidan only took a couple steps back, into Kisame. Half naked, sopping wet Kisame.

"Wha-at the the hell happened?" Said Shirubachi, between giggles, from her perch on the ceiling. Kisame growled.

"THE SHARK ATTACKED ME! THE SHARK ATTACKED ME!" Momo was repeating, sitting on top of Kuriako.

"I went to take a shower, because I forgot the gaki was on my back. I took of my shirt, and leaned over to turn on the water, and the brat turned it on scalding hot, then ran away. I chased her, and now we are here." Shirubachi raised an eyebrow, and sat down (up?) on the ceiling.

"NO! The shark pulled off his shirt, and I leapt off just in time to avoid being captured. Then he was gonna spray me with the shower head, so I turned it on as hot as it would go to stun him, then ran away as fast as I could! He chased after me, so I jumped to Akuma for protection." When the redhead finished, everyone face palmed. Well except Sasori. He had his kunai back out, and was carefully watching the hyper girl.

"I think there's been a misunderstanding. I want no part in this." Kuriako said, leaving the room and heading to the upstairs living room, presumably to watch tv. Sasori followed her carefully.

"Hidan and I have to go train now bye." Shirubachi jumped down from the ceiling, grabbing Hidan's hand and dragging him out the door and to her little forest clearing.

"I'm gonna go work on some art or something, un." Deidara followed them out the door, turning to head in a random direction, hoping to get far enough away to be able to make some beautiful explosions without getting yelled at.

"Now that you're off my back, I'm going to ACTUALLY shower." Kisame turned and left, seemingly forgetting he had already taken a shower that morning. His hair was no longer pink after all. Momo sat in the living room alone, pulling a small mic out of her shirt.

"Stage one complete. Moving on to phase two, over." She whispered.

"Good. Maybe you do have some use."

"Yes sir."

"Don't fuck this up, it's your last chance at redemption."

"Of course sir."

"That's it, now shut up before you get caught." Momo tucked the mic back into the collar of her shirt.

"Always, sir."

* * *

 **A/N: I actually don't like this chapter all that much, it feels too rushed. It is however, completely necessary in order for the plot to continue as planned. Reviews are very welcome as I know my writing can always be improved, and I like to know what you people think. Thank one of my friends (whose name I will not put here) for 80% of Hidan's insults because I am not that creative. Hope you enjoyed~**


	3. Waffles and Weird Friends

**CHAPTER 3**

Shirubachi ran out the door, desperate to get away from the craziness that was sure to ensue. Momo was an interesting girl, and they'd known each other for years. She'd actually been a fairly calm girl in their younger days, but as she'd gotten older, her personality had changed. Shirubachi still loved the girl like a little sister, but sometimes it was a bit much. It had always amused her that her most hyperactive friend's favorite Akatsuki member was the emotionless puppet, though he seemed much less so in real life. Paranoid, or frantic even might be better terms. She laughed and turned her path to lead through the forest, to her clearing. She didn't have to look behind her to know Hidan was following her, despite his footsteps being soundless.

 _You have weird ass friends Chi._

 _Yeah, I do. I'll tell ya the same thing I told Pein: normal is scary!_

 _So this peach-bitch of yours, she used to be the fucking calm one?_

 _Yeah, its pretty hard to imagine. You still gotta love her, despite her craziness. She's been through some serious shit, staying so immature has been what's stopped her from snapping. Better hyper than what Sasuke did, eh?_

 _You mean Itachi's bitch? Mini-tachi?_

 _What other Sasuke is there? Er, that's still alive I mean._

 _I don't fuckin know. I guess so, it's more fucking annoying though. So, training eh? You mastered tree climbing, what about water walking._

 _I need to work on it._

 _Fucking idiot. I thought you would though, because I am clearly stronger than your dumb ass. Though it does take most people more than a day to learn how to properly walk on water._

 _I'll just ignore that first part. So, what are we gonna do today?_

 _First I'm gonna teach you some really fucking basic taijutsu, I can't believe you know nothing. This world is fucking stupid, full of pussy ass heathens! Then water walking for an hour or so. Then back we go, to all the crazy bitches. I wanna try that pizza shit you guys are drooling about. This world sucks ass but the food is fucking amazing._

 _True true. I agree completely. Pizza is pretty great, so is a lot of other food, pizza is just really easy to access on short notice. Its still really fuckin great though._

As good as waffles? I knew you were fucking insane but this is beyond that.

 _I am biased as I prefer sweet foods, but yes, about that good. Also, why thank you. I'd like to think I'm past insane._

 _Crazy bitch._

 _Sue me_.

 _Now, for your training..._

* * *

When Momo went back upstairs, the first thing she did was glomp Sasori. He was peacefully sitting in a chair, reading a book that looked very similar to Shirubachi's copy of the all-in-one unabridged Narnia series. She slung her arm around his eyes, giggling, and carefully slid in a bookmark before closing the book. It was one of her childhood favorites after all, wouldn't want to damage it. She idly wondered why the puppet was reading it, before she continued to plaster a nerve-wrenching grin to her face. Kisame shuddered from his spot in the shower when he heard her giggle, and Sasori's exclamation of surprise that came with it. He really wished Leader had permitted them to kill citizens, it was rather annoying to have to obey such weaklings, even if most of them weren't terrible, just annoying. Momo was really annoying.

Kuriako glanced over casually at the scene repeated from earlier, before turning her attention back to the tv. Fairy Tail was on, one of the old episodes, from the Tower of Heaven arc. It was one of her favorites, because she loved Erza, and though it was one of the darker and sadder arks, it was just a genuinely good one. Kuriako always liked the socially awkward, intimidating characters with a sad past, that managed to stay strong and good even after so much. Hence why she had originally loved Sasuke, but then eventually come to think of him as quite an annoying bitch, and she had begun loving Itachi twice as much. His adorableness and love for his little brother, despite the younger Uchiha being a complete asshole, had only bolstered this fact.

When Kisame got out of the shower (again. He had just remembered that he'd already taken a shower and felt like a complete idiot.) to see Kuriako crying over someone named Jellal and laying on the couch, behind which Sasori had Momo on his shoulders again, the blue man was very confused. He approached the sobbing girl, and sat on the couch beside her.

"Uh. Hey there Kuriako-san. Why are you crying?" He asked awkwardly. Comforting crying teenagers was not his strong suit.

"Be-because poor Erza and Jellal! They were just little kids, why did that have to happen to them? Why!?" She bawled, placing her head in his lap. He awkwardly pat her hair, not really understanding what was happening. "And then I started thinking about characters with sad pasts, then I thought of Itachi, and why is it that they have to go through so much? H-how can they be so strong! You too! All of you have such s-sad, sad, pasts, and here I am with my almost perfect life, and I'm not even that good a person, 'ma!" He pulled her into his lap and began stroking her inky black hair.

"I'm not really a good man, I've killed so many people. Yes, Itachi has had a hard life, but that shouldn't stop you from being happy with your own." He said calmly.

"I guess I just look up to all those people, the ones that have had so much happen to them, and yet somehow, somehow they manage to stay good people. It must be difficult, but it just lets us all know that it doesn't matter what happens, there aren't any excuses to submitting to our despair. I think that's why I like Itachi so much. Thanks Kisame."

"No problem." She smiled then, and wrapped her arms around the large man's chest.

"You're good at this cheering up thing." Kuriako giggled. "Can I call you nii-san?"

"I don't mind it." The shark man was suddenly very happy his blue complexion hid his slight blush.

"Thank you. Now, let's watch some Fairy Tail so you can see what I'm actually talking about!" She grabbed the remote, getting it to episode one, and happily watching it with her new brother figure. The shark man was very confused of course, he'd only known this girl for an hour or so and she was already declaring him her brother figure. It was odd to say the least, he had been an only child so of course he had no idea how to treat his new 'little sister'. For now he'd just go along with this he decided, this show was actually pretty good.

Whilst this little scene happened, behind their backs, Sasori fell down the stairs with Momo on his back. The red haired girl hopped off just in time, but the puppet master wasn't so lucky, he tumbled down the first flight of stairs and rolled til he hit a wall. He was very, very happy his wooden body didn't have pain receptors. He ran down the rest of the stairs and locked himself in the broom closet, sighing in relief.

Sasori heard footsteps approaching his closet, and pulled out a kunai. The reason the hyperactive girl scared him so much was simple: he wasn't allowed to kill her. He had no control over her actions, he knew nothing of her possible threat level, and he was helpless when it came to her. Not to mention he couldn't understand whatever strange emotion the younger girl felt towards him, and had no idea how to react to it!

"Sasoooo-kun! I know you're in there~ come on, I just wanna hug you! Pweeeeeeaaaaaase?" He pulled out another poisoned kunai, and changed his stance. From what he had seen of the girl's skills, he could easily take her down. Even so, when he saw the door shake, he had to repress a shudder. Momo was a terrifying, terrifying girl. He finally understood Deidara's hatred of Tobi. He couldn't kill her without risking Pein's wrath, and he had no idea if she was actually incredibly powerful and just very good at hiding it. This was a whole different world after all, and his emotionless-ness seemed to be failing him here. He readjusted his grip on the kunai despite it already being perfect, and went back to waiting, lost in thought.

When Sasori next heard footsteps passing his closet, where he had spent the last hour or so, they were not the bouncy and soft footsteps of the living embodiment of his worst nightmare. He unlocked the closet door, and stepped out. Sure enough, it was a bruised and battered Shirubachi that had passed his door searching for some food in the kitchen, not the demonic redhead. He stepped out, heading upstairs to his recently appointed room.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Shirubachi watched as Sasori calmly stepped out of the closet and headed up the stairs. She shook her head, then immediately regretted it as it sent a pounding ache through her skull.

"Ugggggh Hidan whyyyyy…." She mumbled to herself, pulling out a yogurt and an ice pack and plopping down on one of the bar stools.

"I'm sorry Chi but you fucking suck at taijutsu." Said the silver haired man as he sat beside her.

"Yes but why did you feel the need to make me do 100 push ups WITH YOU SITTING ON MY BACK? I can usually do like 20 to 40, without someone on my back! I collapses after 5!" She exclaimed at him, before continuing to press the icepack to the side of her head with one hand and eat with the other.

"It'll increase your upper body strength by a shit load. After a while you'll be able to do fucking 200 one handed push ups with me on your damn back. It's not like you'll fucking die." Shirubachi momentarily cursed her immortality, before realising that without it, the training might kill her, and she wouldn't heal nearly as fast. Instead of replying she just glared at him half heartedly and grumbled under her breath. She knew Hidan could hear her thoughts of him anyway, but she didn't particularly care right then. The only thing that interrupted her was when her doorbell rang.

She got up, limping very very slightly, but enough for Hidan to notice and swoop her up onto his shoulders. He walked her over the door, which she opened to see the faces of almost all the rest of her friends.

"Ah, hey guys! Hows a goin?" Shirubachi waved lightly to them from her perch atop Hidan's shoulders.

"Uh… I see you've finally acquired Hidan. Nice job with that I guess." Kagame said, walking in. Whilst she was as otaku as the rest of them, she never really got into Naruto. She was more of a Black Butler or Death Parade kinda girl. She had long, dark brown curly hair that she kept in a sort of ponytail, except the hair tie was only a couple inches or so above the end. She generally wore a green plaid mini skirt with dropped suspenders, cat tights, paint splattered converse, and some kind of t-shirt, generally with a nerdy or otaku-ish saying. Today was otaku spelled out in the elements of the periodic table, blue writing on a pale pink background, so it kinda fit both categories. She had really really dark blue eyes, almost black, and put little highlights in her hair to match. She was by far the tallest out of all the 8 of them.

"Yup. Ey, you wanna make us some waffles? We ordered pizza too so you don't have too, plus I actually had them for breakfast, but I know you love waffles. Up for it?" Shirubachi said crossing her legs in front of Hidan's chest and resting her hands on top of his head, hers placed on top of that.

"Duh." The brunette said, heading straight for the kitchen. It seems Haku and Astelle were shocked speechless, or at least Astelle. Haku just didn't really talk all that much. The blue haired boy just nodded to her and walked in, following Kagame into the kitchen. No doubt he mostly came for the food. No one knew how the boy kept his figure so perfect. He didn't really do much but eat, watch anime, listen to music, and sleep.

"Arashi Shirubachi, how did this happen?" Came Astelle's voice. Astelle was the most rational, calm one. She had knee length golden hair, but almost always kept it in two swirling braided buns, pinned with sparkling gold pins. Once, for losing a bet, she'd gotten a tattoo of angel wings on her back, though everyone knew she'd always wanted them and had just needed a little extra encouragement. She had a very very slight tan, and her pale icy blue eyes made her look like the classic angel design she loved so much. She was willowy, and a little taller than Shirubachi, but people tended to think she was much older due to her general demeanor, and her much more…. developed figure. Astelle was also very devoted to her fitness, and was incredibly strong. It was always funny to watch people's reactions when the small blonde easily lift the barely smaller confetti-haired girl on onto her back, and they were often compared to a set of sisters.

"Huh? Oh Hidan! We don't know." Astelle waved off Shirubachi's reply.

"No no no, not Hidan. I didn't think you'd know why, but that Akatsuki lolita dress! I know you wanted it for years, and you always treasured it! What happened?" Shirubachi looked down at her precious Akatsuki dress. It was one of only two lolita dresses she owned, and it was true, she did highly value the dress. The hem was torn and ripped, it was soaked and muddy, and it was certainly not in the pristine condition she always worked so hard to keep it in.

"O-oh. I didn't even notice… I guess I'll have to fix it somehow. KUSO! I really fucking liked this one too!" She was about to tear up. Oh fuck she had really worked her ass off for this dress.

 _I… Shit I'm really fucking sorry Chi. We can go steal another one, or just get you a real Akatsuki cloak?_

 _It's okay Hidan. I'm sure I can do something about it._

"Hm, it's ok Ruru. I can definitely fix it. Go change, I'll have it back to you real quick!"

"Thanks Stars." The blonde winked and helped her down, though they both know she didn't need it. Shirubachi walked off to her room, and Astelle's eyes seemed to frost over as she looked at Hidan.

"Don't you dare hurt her. I may be more of a book girl than anime, but I know enough about you from Shiru's talking to know you're the kind of guy to break a girl like her. She may not seem it, but she's fragile. She acts tough, and I know just how strong she is, hell I watched her grow up, but if you hurt her, I don't care if you're immortal, I will hunt you down, and I will make you wish you weren't." She smiled softly at the end though. "If you don't though, if you're as she says, then congratulations. You might be exactly what she needs." She nodded to herself and sat at the couch. "Oh, and I'm rather surprised you all haven't tried to kill her yet. Or actually, why you all haven't been more aggressive. My little Shiru seems just fine actually."

"I… I have no idea." The thoughts followed him as he ended the conversation, though they were quickly smothered by her previous phrase. Exactly what she needs?

Hidan thought softly to himself, carefully hiding the conversation with Astelle behind his mental barrier, along with all his thoughts relating to it. He turned to the kitchen, letting his usual attitude slip into place, as he planned on demanding to learn to make these 'waffles'.

He scowled and walked in, seeing that blue haired kid, Haku, trip over a bar stool and almost fall on his face, catching himself at the last second and flipping himself upright, and knocking over a bowl… then three more. A low whistle left Hidan's throat, this kid had some acrobatic skills. The boy looked up, almost glaring at Hidan with his bright, emerald green eyes. They reminded Hidan of Sasori's, the way they were held uncaringly half open, as if bored, and the long eyelashes that hung over them.

"I wanna make fucking waffles. If you bitches don't teach me then I'll fucking sacrifice you to Jashin-sama." He leveled his best glare at them.

"You are just like Stormy ya know?" The brunette asked, her bound hair swishing behind her as she mixed a bowl of something.

"Who the fuck is Stormy?" Hidan asked her. He had heard various references to this 'Storm' or 'Stormy'.

"Eh, actually I think she's a good deal smarter than you." The girl responded. Hidan couldn't recall her name… It was something about rain. Kiyame? Kazame? Kagame? Hidan nodded to himself, that was it, Kagame. It took him a second longer to process what she had said.

"OI WHO THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU TO CALL ME STUPID? AND WHO THE FUCK IS THIS STORMY BITCH?" Was his reply when he finally did comprehend her words.

"You two seemed pretty close, did she really not tell you her last name?" This time it was Haku who responded, he had finished cleaning the contents of the bowl off the floor and turned to Hidan with a raised eyebrow.

"Who the fuck are you talking about? The only damn people I fucking know here are the Akatsuki." Hidan looked back at the blue haired boy who'd actually hinted at who they were talking about.

"Yes, you know the Akatsuki, you also know the owner of this house." Hidan looked at the blue haired boy. Haku seemed less intent on annoying the hell out of him, so Hidan geared his next response to him.

"Yeah, Chi _is_ fucking Akatsuki." Kagame choked after hearing this.

"Wha-what did you just say?" She responded, looking at him with wide eyes.

"I said CHI IS FUCKING AKATSUKI, what are you fucking deaf?"

"A-all of you?" She asked, shaking slightly.

"... What the hell are you fucking going on about?" Hidan asked her.

"My sweet little Storm-Shirubachi is fucking all of you S-rank criminals?" Kagame asked him.

"Wh-wha? NO WHERE THE HELL DID YOU FUCKING GET THAT IDEA, BITCH?!" Hidan yelled at her, paled slightly, making the patented 'Hidan face'. He decided he really needed to start working on his word choice.

"So then what were you trying to say?" Kagame replied after a sigh.

"Chi is a part of the fu...Akatsuki." Hidan said, barely stopping himself from cursing. "And you never fucking told me who the fuck this 'Stormy' bitch is!" He said, finally remembering the original topic of their conversation.

"Your 'Chi' is named Arashi Shirubachi. _Arashi_ meaning storm. We call her Stormy because it's a better fucking nickname than BLOOD!" Kagame said. Hidan shook his head.

"Nope. The rest of the Akatsuki call her Silver, I call her Chi, and she fucking agrees with me that it's a great fucking nickname!" Kagame paused for a second.

"So Storm's become a criminal?" Haku asked. Hidan looked at him quickly, he had forgotten the quiet boy was there.

"Er… yes, a fucking badass S-class one, too!" Haku nodded at Hidan's answer.

"Always knew it would happen. Ever since she tried to stab me when we first met. She's a ninja too then?"

"YOU MEAN STORMY GETS TO BE A NINJA?" Cut in Kagame. Hidan grinned and nodded.

"Of-fucking-course. Chi is not only a fucking badass nin, she's also MY apprentice, meaning she is destined to be one of the best fucking ninja ever." Kagame looked over at him and pouted.

"Why does Stormy get all the cool stuff? I wanna meet MY favorite anime characters too!" She grinned then and chuckled a little, "The girl does deserve it though. Man, I would not be able to survive doing what she does."

Haku sighed. "I don't think anyone but her could." He agreed, putting some mix into the waffle press.

"What the fuck does Chi do that apparently 'no one else could survive'?" Hidan asked them, watching Kagame put together another bowl of waffle mix and copying her motions. He did actually want to learn to make them, if only to rub it in the others face. Especially Kakuzu, the damn miser. The old bastard would never get to try Chi's waffles!

"Live in the same household as her little brother." The two others responded to him. He raised an eyebrow.

"He must be a fucking pain in the ass then."

"You could say that." Haku said, and he and Kagame shuddered, remembering their own encounters with 'the demon child' as their group so kindly dubbed the thirteen year old kid.

"Oh come the fuck on, he can't be that fucking bad if he's related to Chi. You two are probably just fucking pussies." The bluenette and the brunette slowly turned their heads to look at the Jashinist with wide eyes.

"If you met him, I don't think you could say that. I have a theory going that she actually isn't related to anyone in her family, and is actually adopted." Kagame said, and Haku nodded, agreeing with her.

"I still remember the first time I met him…" Haku began.

 _Flashback (in Haku's POV)~_

" _Hey Shiru!" I called, walking in her door. "You there?" I looked around, trying to find my friend. It was the summer between 7th and 8th grade, and we were going to the beach later with Momo and Astelle. I'm not sure quite how I got dragged into this, I would rather be at home with my computer and my anime._

" _Yeah give me a sec, I need to pull my hair up!" I nodded to myself, at this point in time Shirubachi had her hair longer, to her mid-back, and she hated it. Her mother was very adamant that she kept it that way, so she usually tied it up in a beanie, however knowing her she was gonna take forever and do something fancy for a 'public outing'. I sat on the couch, and grabbed the remote, flicking on the tv._

 _I flipped between the channels before eventually settling on a re-run of Pokemon Indigo League that they had on. In my opinion, only the first couple series of Pokemon were worth watching. After Diamond and Pearl the content took a nosedive. Soon, a shadow was hanging over my head._

" _You ready to go already?" I asked her, looking up. Instead of a young girl with platinum blonde hair and brown eyes, there was a tan boy, must've only been in 3rd or fourth grade, with a mess of dark curls on his head and light green-grey eyes. He had his mouth open, and a bit of spit fell out and landed on my forehead. "Er, hi there. Can you close your mouth?" I asked the boy._

" _Are you my sisters boyfriend?" He asked me, and instead of closing his mouth, he opened it further, drooling more on me. I wrinkled my nose and moved over, only for him to follow me._

" _No, I'm not. Just a friend." I told him, now desperate to get away from him. The kid wouldn't stop following my movements!_

" _Oh okay. Are you gay then?" The boy asked me, and I balked._

" _I don't see any reason to tell you of my sexual orientation." I told him, as calmly as I could. The kid then started laughing! What the hell was up with him? Was this the 'evil one' Shirubachi always talked about?_

" _Y-you said sex!" The kid said, laughing his ass off and pointing at me. I growled, this kid was really annoying._

" _Okay kid." The brunette stopped and looked at me._

" _Why is your hair blue?" He asked me then._

" _Because I dye it blue." I told him. How stupid could you be? So what if he looked like a little kid, he should know that hair that's unusual colors is generally dyed! Who had naturally BLUE hair?_

" _What's your natural hair color then?" It was actually blonde, but why the hell should I tell this kid that? Why did he want to know my natural hair color? As far as I was concerned, my hair was now blue, I planned on keeping it that way, so my original color didn't matter._

" _Why should I tell you?" I asked him._

" _Because I'm your master and I own you." I raised an eyebrow._

" _No, you don't own me." He walked in front of me and spit on me. I was quite dismayed to see he was only wearing a pair of neon yellow boxers._

" _YES, I do own you!" He shouted at me, then kicked me. Hard. Right in the spot no male wants to be kicked. I squeaked, and doubled over in pain. "See? I OWN you!"_

" _No. N-no y-you don't." I squeaked out, still in pain._

" _I'm gonna beat you up with my sword! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!" I managed to stand up, to see the boy had run to his room. He returned moments later holding two foam swords. He threw one at me, and I barely dodged. I bent over to pick it up off the ground to see the boy swinging at my head._

 _I blocked, then slid behind him and hit him as hard as I could over the head. He fell over, and when he didn't get back up I started to panic a little._

" _Kid? Hey kid? You alive? Shit shit shit, did I kill you? Ah fuck no Shiru is gonna kill me!" I said, shaking the little boy. Damn I hadn't meant to kill him! I checked his pulse, and luckily enough, he was still alive. I sighed in relief, before lifting the kid up, intending to put him on the couch. Then he started screaming._

" _AHHHHHH! NO! PERVERT! SISSY! SHIRUBACHIIIIIIII!" He screamed, and I dropped him on the couch. Shirubachi walked out with some kind of braided high ponytail, in a black bikini top and dark red shorts, and looked at him with disdain._

" _I-I swear I didn't do anything!" I said, shaking slightly. Shirubachi could be scary, especially when mad._

" _Aw really? Damn I hoped you killed him or at least broke some of his limbs…" She said, pouting slightly. I turned and looked at her. She was now poking her little brother in the neck. "Ready to go?" She asked, and turned and headed out the door. I nodded, and quickly followed._

" _What the hell? I didn't know your little brother was like that!" She just nodded like it was the most normal thing ever, and I stopped walking. "Is… is he always like that?" I asked, my eyes wide. She shook her head._

" _Nope he's normally worse." I fell over. How was she still ALIVE?_

 _End flashback. Back to normal POV_

"And that was only the beginning. Storm wasn't lying, he usually is much worse." Haku ended his story. "Do you see now? Do you understand the horror?" Hidan nodded. The kid sounded kinda like a more violent Tobi. Kind of. Not really but that was the closest comparison Hidan could make.

"That…. is fucking terrible." He almost added 'My poor Chi!' but realised he'd almost referred to Shirubachi as his, and the sentence itself almost made Hidan shudder. So disgustingly sweet… how the hell had he managed to think that up?

The other two occupants of the kitchen nodded, before Kagame whooped loudly and pulled out like five more waffle presses. She turned them all on and put out multiple plates which she began to pile with the wonderful food.

"Hidan, Haku, set the table and put the toppings out." Hidan turned on his heel with a wave as Haku began to drag out the mountains of different toppings he assumed belonged to Shirubachi's family (nope, just Shirubachi actually, she was quite proud of her collection).

"Ahahaha, no bitch. I'm out. See ya fuckers later!" He said, walking to the downstairs living room, which now contained: Shirubachi, Astelle, Momo, Kuriako, Sasori, Kisame, Deidara and Hidan.

Shirubachi waved, and dragged him onto one of the couches. She was back in her usual clothes, and plopped down next to him as soon as he sat down. Sasori was in the corner holding a kunai while Momo was trying to talk Kisame into helping her get the puppet master. Astelle seemed to be doing Deidara's hair while the two talked about various shampoos and the like. Kuriako was sitting in the corner opposite Sasori, next to Kisame, seemingly trying to talk the poor puppet into being her sensei, whilst also holding up a conversation about 'poor sweet Erza' with Kisame, who was trying his hardest to not blush when Momo jumped on his back and started messing up his shark-fin hairstyle.

She smiled and when he got close, she leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"The topping collection is mine, Hida-kun… MINE." She withdrew, sitting next to him on the couch. Louder this time, she asked him when the waffles would be ready.

"The bitch and the pansy seemed almost done when I was in there." She smacked him over the head, glaring lightly.

"Hidan, don't call Haku a pansy. Facing the Demon-child is a very traumatising experience for most!" At the mention of her little brother, everyone in the room who had met him shuddered.

"I know my nickname is Akuma, it is so for a reason actually; not just my speech impediment, but that kid is horrifying. I once watched him eat a plate full of plain bread. He ate the PLATE, not just the bread. Something's fucked up about him." Kuriako put in, her voice shaking slightly.

Astelle smiled and shook her head. "He's really not that bad you guys, sure he's a little weird but he's not that bad. He isn't evil or anything." Momo shook her head vehemently.

"No, Astelle, he is evil. You just don't know because he LIKES you for some reason, and never does anything too weird around you. HIS FAVORITE CHARACTER IN NARUTO IS OROCHIMARU FOR GO-Jashins, SAKE!" Momo replied in a flurry, waving her arms wildly from her spot on Kisame's shoulders. She almost fell.

"Hida-kun, did you say the waffles were almost ready?" Shirubachi asked, ignoring the debate her friends were having.

"Yeah, those two should be done any damn second now." Hidan replied, also ignoring the debate. Chi didn't like the so-called 'Demon Child', so he would trust her judgement. He knew she was generally… sometimes… occasionally, right.

 _Oi, I am ALWAYS right Hidan!_

 _Fuck… okay?_

 _HIDAN!_

 _Fine, fine…_

While the two Jashinists had their conversation, Haku re-entered the room, and cleared his throat loudly. All the noise stopped as everyone turned to look at the bluenette.

"The waffles are done." Kisame got up with Momo still on his shoulders, and scooped up Kuriako on the way, holding her princess style, and carrying them both to the kitchen. Shirubachi pouted at the scene, this was HER house, she wanted to be carried around by the shark man! Sensing her dismay, Hidan put her on his shoulders, where she continued to pout. She would definitely be getting carried around by Kisame, eventually. Shirubachi would just have to plot her revenge first.

Sasori stayed in his corner, away from Momo, he couldn't eat anyway. Astelle stopped messing with Deidara's hair, and helped him up before calmly walking to the kitchen.

"So, what do you guys wanna do?" Shirubachi asked, her plate of waffles balanced atop Hidan's head. There weren't enough chairs for everyone so the pouting silverette had 'agreed' to stand. With Shirubachi still on his shoulders of course.

"Uhm, well, you see," Deidara began, looking a little sheepish, "Art is a bang, yeah!" He finished. Shirubachi sighed.

 _Oh no…_

 _He fucking blew something up right?_

 _He sure did Hidan. Fuck it all. This is gonna be impossible to hide._

 _Didn't you fucking say we wouldn't "really be hiding too much anyway"?_

 _This is a little more than that._

"Deidara, what did you blow up?" Shirubachi asked, deadly calm.

"What makes you think I blew something up, un?" He replied with a scowl. You could almost hear the crickets. "Ok fine I blew up part of the beach! Nothing too much, the ocean stopped it from being truly beautiful, I swear, yeah!" Shirubachi sighed.

"Dei-dei, I think you might have made Stormy mad." Momo said quietly, an expression altogether too reminiscent of a startled mouse on her face. Deidara looked over, and sure enough, Shirubachi was washed over with extremely potent killing intent. He wasn't phased, being in an organization of S-class criminals and all. He simply glared back, only to be surprised when he felt killing intent leaking out of Hidan as well.

Upstairs, Pein had been paying attention, and because he was in private and thus allowed to show emotion, he chuckled a little. Then he clicked next episode and kept watching. He had to keep… gathering information, of course. Totally not getting sidetracked from Naruto and discovering Ouran Highschool Host Club. He was watching Naruto. What else would he be doing, he was here only to gather information. Not to watch flamboyant rich boys… not at all. He sighed, why must the universe think so lowly of him? He was the leader of an organization of S-class class criminals! The only reason they weren't burning the world down and taking it over at that moment is because he made them agree (threatened them…) to not do anything until he had enough information on this world to freely traverse it with no problems.

Deidara however, was far from laughing. Shirubachi had somehow… conjured a scythe? Unsealed it? Found it? He didn't know, but she now held a scythe very similar to Hidan's, only the blades were silver with burgundy and a slightly different design on the blade, reminiscent of a wave almost. The handle was white with black wrappings, and there were only two blades. A chain dangled from it, wrapping daintily around her wrist. Little known to him, or any of them other than Shirubachi and Hidan, it was just a fake one, and she had no idea where she had gotten it either.

She had no idea how she did it, but she had. She took advantage of his distraction to walk over and slam her fist down on his head.

"Idiot. No more explosive clay for a month."

"Wh-whaat, un?! You can't do that, yeah!"

"Hell the fuck yes I can you little brat. I LIKED that beach! Plus, this is gonna be all over the fucking news after last time!"

"Last time?" Kisame asked, looking at her with a sharky grin.

"What do you mean by that Ruru?" Astelle joined in. Shirubachi, Kagame, and Momo shared a look of sheer terror before Kagame started to stutter out an answer.

"Well… um, y-you see, I was over here with Sto-stormy and Momo about a month ago-" She was cut off with Momo slapping a hand over her mouth and dragging her and Shirubachi out of the room. Strange looks were shared over the table.

"Well… there's another chair now?" Kisame stated, helping Kuriako off his lap and into the chair.

"That was weird, un. I wonder what they did." Deidara added. Kuriako and Astelle shrugged, Hidan snickered a little bit, knowing exactly what the three idiots had done.

"They do weird shit all the time. Those three are all insane. Kagame acts mature in front of new people, but the three of them have been doing crazy ass things since 7th grade when they met." Haku put in, taking a bit of waffle. Several people looked over startled, he was so quiet they had forgotten he was there. He gazed calmly back at them. "What?"

"You… are nothing like your sister." Kisame stated simply. Haku just nodded and went back to his food. They heard a doorbell, and a moment later, the three girls returned to the room holding about two boxes of pizza each.

"You took my chair!" Kagame said, attempting to point at Kuriako, who smiled 'serenely' back at her.

"Yes I did." Momo groaned after hearing this answer. The reason for this was shown when Shirubachi placed her pizza on the table and tackled her to the ground.

 _What the fuck Chi?_

 _You'll see… get Sasori for me will ya?_

 _Ookay? What the actual fuck Chi…_

Kagame sat on Momo, patting the now very annoyed girl's head.

"Thank you for being my chair Momo."

"Why is it always ME?" She howled, desperately trying to wiggle out from under the much taller girl. "I. Am. Not. A. Chair! Get the fuck off me!" The Akatsuki members in the room stared in shock, including Sasori, who Hidan had fetched. The sudden personality change had been very 'unexpected' to say the least. "I told you guys to stop doing this!"

"Nope, never. Only time we get to see Momo2 nowadays." Shirubachi said, smirking. Astelle was of course videotaping all of this on her phone. This would be the 300-and-something-eth video of this sort. They didn't need them, they actually tended to delete them, it just annoyed Momo even more to know she was being filmed.

 _Momo2? Chi what the FUCK is happening? None of this makes any sense at all._

 _Momo2 is the old Momo. Before the crazy shit that made them the fuzzy little ball of insanity you see today. They were fairly irritable and hated when we did this. Momo still does. Hence we of course use Momo as a chair, whenever the opportunity presents itself._

 _Fuck Chi you have weird friends. What the hell is going on with Kagame. She was a holier-than-thou bitch earlier!_

 _Kagame is probably more insane than I am. No one can understand their behavior. She might be closer to Momo's level of sanity than mine actually. Kagame is also a very good actress._ Shirubachi started laughing then. Out loud. The room went silent for a second, before she stopped laughing to see the weird looks.

Shirubachi looked around, realising these people couldn't hear the conversation she had just had, and having an 'oops' moment. To pass off the awkward moment, she opened the boxes of pizza, taking a piece for herself. No one else moved, so she took another one and shoved it in Kisame's mouth. He took it, and actually took a bite. His eyes lit up. He grinned, and realised why they had gotten so much of this stuff.

They however were still the only people doing anything for a minute or two, before Sasori left and Haku took a slice of pizza. This seemed to bring everyone else back to reality, and soon the Akatsuki was wondering how they ever lived without the wonderful foods of this new world.

"I'm leaving now." Haku stated, as soon as he was done eating. He had only come for the food after all. The boy, being actually very nice, decided to drag his sister with him. Kuriako left then as well seeing as she was Momo's ride, and thus now Haku's since the boy had come with two people who were staying. Astelle followed soon after, vaguely mentioning something about fixing things.

"Don't worry, I'll stay n help you clean." Kagame smiled, and started helping put away plates and throwing away pizza boxes. With one glare the Akatsuki had joined her, the work going by very quickly. Soon Kagame was gone, and it was yet again just Shirubachi and the Akatsuki. She decided to make the best of this by walking into her room, falling over onto her bed, and passing out. Hence ending one of the best- if not strangest- days of Shirubachi's life thus far. It was still only like four or five anyway.

 **A/N: I'm so sorry for the wait! This month has been insane thus far, and I'm afraid I have to rewrite the next couple chapters because I am very unhappy with them. I hope this one was ok at least though?**


End file.
